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I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and within the last year or so I have been having a strong desire for this fantasy of me and another guy having sex with her. I don't know why, maybe it's like live **** or something. I've brought it up with her before, just saying I've thought about it, and she got very upset that I even had the thought but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I understand that she might be weirded out by it but I also think it's unfair that I can't even talk about it without her getting angry or making me feel guilty. How could I bring this up with her again in a way that won't upset her so I could at least talk about it and get it off my chest. It has become almost my only fantasy and I think about it constanly. And further more, if this does pan out, which it might not, would you suggest having a friend join us or a stranger?
loneryder loneryder 18-21 6 Answers Jan 25, 2010

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I have the problem she always tells no that's sick but I want to try it. I no she has pictures of other guys **** on her phone but will me she does not know any guys

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I have the same problem with my girlfriend. She acts sort of offended that I would even think of it,yet I desire it. I have this desire that another guy and I both are all over her. I think having a friend that you trust and feel comfortable with is best. However a stranger might work better. The problem we face is getting them to loosen up and have more of an open mind. Ive desided I'm not waiting any longer. Next thing you know it will be years later and still at this same point. I'm going to tell her I love her very deeply, but I want us to experience some light sexual experimentation. I'll say it's on my mind and it wont go away, so lets do this together as a couple, it will bring us closer together physically and emotionally. The first experiment will be me and another guy, flirting with her,touching,kissing and carressing her. Without all out sex. that way she wont feel threatend or vulnerable. what do you think?

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I have the EXACT problem :(

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I suspect all of you have been cheated on before. The fantasy of wanting to see another guy have sex with your woman almost always stems from being cheated on in the past. It's a psychological insecurity that gets turned into a sexual desire.



You loved a woman in the past and she betrayed you by sleeping with another guy. But deep down you would punish yourself by thinking about it and it becomes taboo. Which then turns the thoughts into sexual excitement. The idea of actually seeing your girlfriend cheating on you while you watch. Seeing your woman be violated right before your eyes.



So those fantasies carry over into future relationships even if the new woman hasn't cheated on you. You try to get it to actually happen.



It's a way of turning your pain into sexual desire and is also a defense mechanism. You want her to enjoy other men before she has the chance to cheat on you again. You guys may want to go to therapy before making this decision.



There's definitely some sort of emotional scars you are trying to cover up. Unless you're just some freaky swingers who don't actually love each other.

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The key phrase in your response was 'almost always'. Because the cornerstone of our marriage was love and trust, even though my wife never once cheated on me (or did anyone else prior to her, for that matter), I still have that desire. Some of us just enjoy sharing and seeing our partners being pleasured by two men. Don't overthink it.

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In the back of evry woman is da fantasy of havin sex wif 2 men at once.my girlfrend of 4yrs became a 1st time mum yr ago..our sex life became dull and boring months later,3sum was wat we needed..i didnt hav 2 tell her,my gf is a very loyal person,she always states shes a 1 man woman and hates the thought of cheating but things changed wen she went back 2 work doin odd shifts..she and a co-worker who is also a frend of mine startd hangin out..i knew my gf was sumwat attractd 2 him after 2009 nye..so i kinda invitd him over home more often which led 2 him startin 2 hangout wif us weneva we went out..it took a few wks b4 our close bonding became sexual..i orchestratd da whole thing wifout dem knowin wat was 2 become..the past few months we have had great sex 2gether and it so turns me on evrytime wer 2gether..we always have fun,i dnt get jealous knowin dat shes happy..recently we tried dp 4 da 1st time and we just enjoy so much..i sumtimes wake up and my gf and our mate are ****** like animals,i sit back and watch and then join in later..life 4 us as a couple has been so exciting and has brought us 2gether closer than ever b4.

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Thank god i'm not the only one who desires this. Imagine if your girlfriend asked you to have a ********* with another girl, without a doubt or a hesitation i would say YES. So why do our girlfriends say no and get pissed? is it because they think were kidding and don't want to actually say they want too? or because they just don't want too? I read all positive things that come from 3 somes and i get really jealous. I told her i don't even have to be included, it can just be her and a guy and she gets soo pissed. FML

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Its because as a woman you want ur mate or whatever to truly care and love you which if your mate does feel strongly for u and respects u they will never want to share u...I understand the fantasy behind it but it questions the love esp. since most guys would do that with girls they don't care about...as ur mate we want to feel like your most prized possession and who would want to share that

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