seek professional counselling DONT blame yourself
nuff said right there
This may not be the ideal forum but as you have been strong enough to take this huge step, take the best advice anyone here has or will give. Seek professional counselling. I can assure you this will not fade with time unless you face it fully and with the right guidance. I dont know where you are (country etc) but have a google search for Rape counsellors and advice centres. My only concern is the person who committed this atrocious act is atr large to do it again. I truly wish you my deepest regards for your future happiness and my admiration for your strength. at this point i think you are right to not speak to your partner but i must reiterate, please, please speak to someone at aa contact centre or clinic. You owe it to yourself to get back to the person who you really are and to remove the fear this monster has instilled in you. Again you have my true wishes for your future. Be well.
Contact Rapecrisis freephone 0808 802 9999. They will guide you further. It may seem daunting or even impossible but i guarantee this is your best course and will help you. Check their website, they have odd times the lines are active. Free yourself of this burden as soon as you can, it was the act of a low-life, youre better than to allow it to affect your life.Keep being strong and my thoughts are with you.
Honestly, it will take a long time, depending on the kind of support you find. But remember this, this happened to you, it didn't happen because of you. Nothing you did brought this on. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Please, please, please tell someone. Just telling people here, is a little like therapy. You've basically said it outloud. No one laughed, no one judged you, no one blames you. You can do it. Please let me know how you're doing. I don't know you, but am really concerned for you. See, a stranger is worried and wants you to get some help. People care for you, whether you know them or not.
Take martial arts not only will it help you to defend yourself it will mentally help you to get past the past and build up your self esteem. Also if the man is found and caught and you have to bare witness against him that will be a huge first step in letting go because you have confronted your attacker.
You need to go to the police, he is no friend. Don't let this event define you and the rest of your life. If you can come to terms with it you can turn it around and instead of it defining you as a victim you can use it to make yourself stronger. Don't let this guy get away with it because if you hold him accountable then he won't have any control over you ever again.
Why he gets away with it and can go and victimize someone else. If his friend was there he can corroborate the story and put him away. Don't just think about yourself think about others that he could do the same thing too.
Seek professional help and NEVER drink alcohol again. In order to be strong next time, control your mind, don't let it control you. You have seen what alcohol did to you (I know cause I just read yer reply to Olafsen). <br />
Give up drinking.
Wow. I can't even begin to contemplate your situation and how you are dealing with it day after day. For that I am truly sorry that this happened to you. I do have a couple of suggestions though for what it's worth. First of all have you tried talking to a therapist? I know they're expensive but if you have medical insurance then you might be able to see one at either low cost or possibly free. I'm not saying you need medication or anything but sometimes we just need people to talk to who won't judge us. Think about taking a self defense class. After being raped your sense of security is shot and an excellent way to start to get it back is taking a self defense class. It is very empowering and a good confidence builder. Try yoga (if you don’t alreaady), it is truly amazing how it makes you feel calm and can just release the stress and anxiety. take deep breaths and let your mind go blank.Tell me you don’t feel a little better after you take a few big deep breaths. Well, when you are doing yoga, not only is your body trying to align and release your stress you are holding in your body, but you are really breathing the whole time and getting oxygen to your entire body, which is not only a calming affect but helps the tightness in your muscles to release. So trust me just try it a few times, you don’t have to do it perfect (which is why I do it at my house) but I always feel better afterwards, never fails. i hope this helps. and feel free to contact me anytime. im here to help in anyway i can :)
Decide to let it go (hard I Know)THen go out and treat yourself to something fabulous. If u stay depressed the B******Won twice.The best revenge is living well. hugs
CRAZYYYYYYYYY I said this too (hugggggggg oh yeas.........) ooh! :3
I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. I've been there. If you don't seek professional help, you will only make one mistake after another in your relationships. You can not trust anyone right now because of what has happened to you but believe me there is a bright future if you get the help now.
How unfortunate, having such a thing happen to you. Your sense of self has most likely changed, but you should seek professional help to help with that. <br />
In regards to whether or not you'll ever be happy again, of course. It all depends on what you consider "happy"- are you expecting "dancing on rainbows" happiness or "woke up on the right side of the bed" happiness? i think at this point, "dancing on rainbows" happiness is unlikely. Be satisfactory with the little things, and your days will seem happier. <br />
Consider animals that are abused- they may go their whole lives in tiny cages, suffering from illnesses caused by the disgustingly dirty conditions and lack of adequate nutrition, but if they are rescued and given proper rehabilitation they will come to be happier with time. <br />
i think with time and help from a professional you'll overcome your current feelings and eventually return to the life you lived before the incident. Good luck, and feel better.
Gad, that's horrid. Was it someone you knew? Police notified? You need help and that's going to be beyond an internet chat group. I'd google Rape Crisis and call someone. Get therapy, get into a group. You aren't alone. Personally I'd go for revenge, if possible. A group in San Francisco organized it so that a dozen women would go to a rapist's house or work and confront him. <br />
And yes, you will be happy again, it will take time.<br />
You might think about empowering yourself. I'd find a good martial art school (best guide I know of is in the stickies at the top of the page at Bullshido, an online martial arts group, in noobieville at the top of the page there is a good guide to finding a school, as many are junk).
yes u will be ..its upon u ... if u want to move on and be happy u will. now u have to be strong and face the world.. and be with your friends and find the right guy and get sttle u will forget every thing which has happen to u...
so tell him if you love him so much and you believe in him so tell him do not hesitate if you didnt tell him soon it will hunt your future and destroy your future
he loves you he wont give you sympathy and the person who has done bad to you had to be punished... by telling your bf you wont loss him you will gain his more love and attention he is your soul mate so dont hide from him just think if he get to know from some one else what will happen to your relation
Yes you will be happy again. But happiness is related to happenings..what is going on in the present. Right now, it is good to grieve and work through the issues...you deserve the time to heal after this crime. There are several stages you will have gone through and then you will start feeling more awake to the happiness of things again.<br />
There is a time in life to deal with many things and I wish you well in making it through this period and finding joy and excitement in things again and no fear, guilt, or hate towards life as you are a survivor and will blossom into what good things you deserve to happen in your life.
What kind of help are you getting to recuperate?
There are plenty of online services which are very affordable. Regardless you can't do this alone so get the care you need. Do it now, k? :)
Good for you!! But don't stop there. You're going to need a lot more care and love so get your family involved too, ok? :)
lol:P Don't concentrate on it:P lololol hahahahhaha you don't need to and why should you care so much watch comedy entertainment games GAMES! DO ANYTHING YOU DESIRE! YOU ARE A GOD! HAHAHAHA I wish I could meet you I would give you all I have this day but I have nothing!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha I don't like it but think like you should dare to think...........................................?????????????????? DON'T YOU DARE BE THIS.<br />
lol of course you could hahaha:P but how could you possible pass this then, you'll do it, you will win, you will accomplish you will climb this thing like a **** hahahaah or no I agree with you but as well I DO NOT. I don't know you I have NO IDEA what you are thinking about me but if you DO NOT LIKE IT THEN DISRE -****** -GARD IT. YEAH. You're great:D Goodbye:D
Dear oh, deary me... looks like we have druggies on here tonight.
Yes but it is a long road. You need to start with counselling. You did report it?
I understand your fear but he cannot be allowed to run free and enjoy his freedom while your stuck in a jail created by fear.
Of course you will. Speak with a counselor.
i'm sorry for you but u have to see a psychologist and try to think about anything else it is hard and it is still recent
I am so so sorry to hear about that; have you talked to someone you trust since this happened?
well it's great that you have somebody close you can lean on. Your parents don't know?
hmm, well is this person still anywhere in your vicinity?