I would like to speak w/ someone who has or had self harms
3 Answers to "I would like to speak w/ someone who has or had self harms"
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I am a former cutter. One of my children pulls out her eyelashes since she was twelve; she's almost 20 now, she still does it. She went to a support group a couple of times a few years ago; it gave her comfort to know others were struggling with it like she was. It's something that she doesn't like to talk about, all we've ever been able to do is just be supportive and be there when she needs someone to listen.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KQEZ4TXFzM Self Worth
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Posted by gooseyloo Mar 11th, 2013 at 11:22AM
I am not sure what type of self-harming your daughter does. I did some things in my teens like scratching my hand and chest with a thumbtack and making it bleed (2-3 times only) and punching a wall and ramming my head into a wall.
When I was in my late 20's, I started to have anxiety attacks and the urge to slap my own face. This started after I worked with some people with autism (as a caregiver) and saw a lot of self-harming, hitting behaviors from them. My therapist thinks I picked up from them that it was a way to deal with extreme stress, but obviously I had some tendencies there since my teens too.
I've been through a lot in the past few years (divorce, natural disaster, etc) and I have trouble dealing with it sometimes. Occasionally I will slap my face hard, or bite my own arm or hand. Once I scratched my cheek and left marks. Another time I punched my throat and my chest. I go to counseling to deal with this. One thing I think is a good sign (in a crazy way) is that I've only done this when someone else - my boyfriend, normally - is around. Like in the next room or nearby. I think I am attention-seeking with it, although I don't consciously think "I want attention", I guess on some levels I do.
Therapy helps, but I still do have the urges at times and can't fight them. It is usually when I have trouble at work or if my boyfriend and I are having a difficult discussion and I feel frustrated. My therapist gave me a lot of helpful information on this. It's a bit worse if your daughter is doing it frequently and when she is alone. I think the fact you even know about it is a good sign. Most people who eventually escalate to serious self-harm or suicide manage to keep the entire thing a complete secret.
Good luck to you and your daughter. I hope she's getting help. I know it can be expensive or complicated but it is worth it.
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