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I've seen this often. I am thinking it can mean widely different things?
Vessa Vessa 41-45, F 29 Answers Jun 1, 2012

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I always take it to mean "don't be like my crazy *** ex"

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wonderful!

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So it could possibly mean that he is still dragging some old baggage about his ex into the relationship?

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I guess it means he doesn't want to date women.

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Yes...we do tend to be on the dramatic side. But I'm thinking it's because a lot of men equate having emotions with drama.

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I was just teasing. ;)

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I only know what I'd mean if I said it, or if one one of my male friends said it.....To us it means someone who blows all of life's problems way out of proportion; acts as if only their problems matter; gets all pissy if you don't immediately put your life on hold to respond to, and solve, every crisis they have; and who's over-inflated sense of self importance, insecurities, lack of self confidence and self esteem constantly causes issues with pretty much everyone else in their life and yours.

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When I use the word "drama", this is what I tend to mean as well....the diva type or the teenage girl type. Or, in a man, the one who needs to be the center of attention and is constantly playing for every woman in his vicinity. I guess I see it as any over the top type of emotion. It's only recently that I've realized that so many refer to normal reactions as "drama".

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Your interpretation is very close to what I was trying to convey. However, Its not been my experience that people see normal reactions as drama.

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he wants a girl who will behave like a guy

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More and more, I'm beginning to realize that's true. It's either that, or one who behaves like a child. Don't men want women any more?

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your question invites one specific answer...so, just for the sake of glibness and argument, perhaps they don't want modern women

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He wants no attachment. Meet, greet, and go bang-bang and that's about it.

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Most of the guys have "seeking marriage" as their status though....that's one reason I was wondering about it. The vast majority are divorced and have kids. Who in that situation has "no drama"? lol

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Thats kinda what I was thinking. Just give him what he wants without sharing your dreams, asking questions or having demands of your own.

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"Be a nonperson, and we'll get along just fine." Sheeesh.

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He means he already has plenty from his wife or girlfriend, and would like to have a female companion that is just friendly and happy to just know him.

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That's interesting.

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Thats possible. Some people just want part time companionship.

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It means he tends to get caught up in "drama" and doesn't take responsibility for his share of it.

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Do you meant drama as in arguments and the like?

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People use "drama" as a blanket term for any kind of negative interaction. Could be quarrels, could be a lot of other things. Don't like it when he embarrasses you in public? Some guys call that "drama." Some even accuse women of "drama" if she cries because her mother's breast cancer spread to the bone.
Sounds jerky? Sure, but it happens.
What guys who say "no drama" in personals ads are telling you is that their last relationship was messy. They're telling you they have baggage and that they haven't found a positive way to express the desire for a happier relationship.
That said, there *are* people who go from one relationship to another stirring up unnecessary trouble. But if somebody normal dealt with one of those people the normal response would be to put that in the past and seek positive elements in the next romantic partner: the normal person would look for red flags quietly.

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BINGO! I was involved with a guy like that. "Don't get upset if I yell at you in public." "I am not interested in any problems that you are having." "I do not intend to open doors for you, so don't even look for that." "Basically, I want someone who looks good on my arm but doesn't mind if I'm an overweight slob." On and on and on. I can appreciate this answer. I am thinking that not all guys who request no drama are like that, but it does make me wonder. And this was on a single parents website....so whose life on there could possibly be drama free??

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You get it. :)
Actual "drama" is frivolous attention-seeking. It's the kid who whines in the grocery store over not getting ice cream. It is *not* the parent who has to balance the budget when the child support payment is late, or who calls the ex to find out why the child was left unattended in an airport for three hours. Those are real problems.
There has been a fad in recent years of tossing around that word in situations where it has no place, just to trivialize and invalidate someone's reactions. I'd steer clear of anyone who uses the term in a personal ad.

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Thank you very much for your replies. I find you very insightful. I do think that "drama" has come to be one of those words used to beat people up for being real, just like the word "nag" is sometimes used to describe a spouse who asks that another hold up their end. It's a loaded word. to make someone sound unreasonable and feel guilty when they aren't. It's interesting. Sad, but interesting.

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I agree, however, no drama often means don't bother me with your feelings or the way that you are a different self than me......that is going to upset me in anyway. I usually see men like this, and find them very shallow human beings, who don't know how to communicate well in an intimate way in relationship, and really want the focus on themselves. There are plenty of narcissistic women too. However, I tend to hear men say this the most and would avoid them like the plague. They can be cold, glib and downright cruel with no remorse in their lack of empathy. There are true drama queens who always need attention because of their insecurities. I am not talking about attention seekers here. I am talking about emotions that we all as human beings. A man who says no drama typically has shallow emotions, and expect you to cope with like and for him. I feel sorry for the women who doubt themselves enough not to know to be very careful when dating these types of men.

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I tend to agree with this, and it's one reason I asked the Q. Words aren't always intended how they might sound, and using a phrase like that would mean something totally different to a person who has no empathy. For some people, only THEIR emotions are allowed to be important.

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I think it implies wanting an easy going, no real strings attached kind of relationship. No having to answer to anyone about anything = no drama.

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Okay you guys (*or ladies I should probably say)...I have read most of the posts on this thread, and I am now going to break it down to the proverbial "Brass Tacks" for you, as I can speak with authority on this subject after having survived two divorces with a couple of extreme Drama Queens, one of which happened quite recently so it is still very fresh in my mind.<br />
<br />
I am making this post for the benefit if anyone desiring to have more genuine clarity on the subject, in the interests of helping to guide others to the shoresvof greater peace, sanity and well-being.<br />
<br />
Now here's the deal.<br />
<br />
First off there is to my knowledge no sane man on earth who wishes his woman to be a sexual robot.<br />
<br />
This concept is created and promoted by drama queens.<br />
<br />
Being stuck in a feelingless rekationship with a woman who simply spreads her legs or bends over at will might seem humorously intreresting at first thought, but in real life, this is compltely ridiculous, and in factual reality can only have originated in the mind of a drama queen.<br />
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What mean really mean when they say "No Drama" is the following list of critical points:<br />
1. No exaggerated and un-necessary scenes, whether in public or in private.<br />
2. No ba<x>seless or unfounded arguments. There is nothing more trying to a good man's patience than a woman who unceasingly argues with him for no good reason or purpose other than to be venting at him.<br />
<br />
Many women seem to love doing this, and there are even posts in this thread that clearly indicates that there is obviiously a cross-section of women who actually take pride in having the power to do so.<br />
<br />
I will tell you now that this is a losing strategy, and it is a recipe for divorce.<br />
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3. No nagging.<br />
<br />
Ladies, many of you seem to think that by repeating something you feel is important over and over and over and over without end that it will finally get your point accross to your male counterpart. <br />
<br />
Sorry ladies, we men are hopelessly logical, and the only logical thing a man can and will do in this situation is shut you out of his consciousness.<br />
<br />
We also don't take you seriously when you nag us, as what you really need to do if you are really serious about gettibg through to us is to sit us down, hold our hands, look us directly in the eyes and KINDLY state your point. <br />
<br />
Believe me, if you bring us something in such a sincere and loving way...WE WILL GET YOUR POINT, and even better, we might even actually do something about it.<br />
<br />
4. No negativity, hostility or violence in any occasion, under any circumstances, or at any time...period.<br />
<br />
Okay, let's say you caught us looking at some other woman's *** while we happen to be holding your hand while walking with you.<br />
<br />
The standard response which leads to divorce is to create the typical jealous drama queen scene and start getting uptight at us.<br />
<br />
What you should do instead if you really wish to keep your relationship together is immediately put our hand on your ***, look us directly

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baggage from the past, or your mate gets involved and causes problems!

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Usually it means to never contact them, and that they'll get at you when nobodies around.

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So these types are more likely to have multiple relationships and to "silo" their women?

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I don't know what you mean by "Silo" but, Yeah! your probably right. This question reminds me of a line from "Chris Rocks", "No sex in the champagne room"
"If you've been dating a guy for 4 months and you don't know any of his friends, then your not his girl friend."

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That's basically what I mean by "siloing". Keeping the relationships separate. Some guys live in mortal fear that one day they will be with one woman and run into another one they are involved with at the same time. Usually someone like that is presenting one story to one person, one story or persona to another...etc. And that enables each woman to feel "special" or like she has a chance to be his exclusively. The guy that I knew told me about his female friends, whom he said all had crushes on him, but he seemed to think that each of them had a sort of mental problem, and he stressed the fact that he wasn't attracted to any of them. Makes me wonder why I was surprised when he later referred to me as possibly "histrionic"- I'm thinking he had diagnosed me to the other women in his little charade. It was complex!

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He's looking for a free prostitute.

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That's the thing....this is a website where most are looking for marriage and are parents already. In their 30s, 40s, and 50s. That's one reason I was asking.

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Men in general, including ones in their 30s 40s and 50s who post on dating sites do not look at the type of dating sites they post on. They do it for one reason and one reason only is for no strings attatched s e x.

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would seem to suggest he's had his fill of Drama Queens in this life, and respectfully requesting that if the reader envisages they may indeed..be a Drama Queen, just walk on by ? lol

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Do drama queens tend to recognize that they are drama queens? lol

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what would life be..without drama vessa ? boring i'd imagine..i bet every one us have had Drama of some kind within our lives ? why even the English Queens werent without Drama ? lol..

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Remember Pig Pen from Peanuts. He's Pig Pen and the dust and particles following him is his drama

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So....no dust clouds.....check!

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Pig Pen wouldn't be Pig Pen without all the dust or particles. So I guess drama is inevitable?

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yeah- he's protesting too much- the slightest tiff- he'll be all I SAID I CAN'T TAKE DRAMA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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and he can't live with his mother

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Usually said loudly as he runs around in circles like a chicken with his head cut off. LOL

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So you know Harold too

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He has absolutely no concept of reality.

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I guess that could be true....if he means by it that the woman is to be some sort of robot.

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It means;<br />
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No women with baggage<br />
No unstable women, fix your own life problems because I'm not going to do it for you<br />
No unreasonably jealous types<br />
No loud-mouthed idiots who cause a scene wherever they go

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Thanks. That's a bit of what I thought it might mean. Does it mean that this is how they see themselves?

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From experience, when a guy says "no drama", it usually means he's just tired of games, so I doubt he'll act like that or that he sees himself like this. If anything, it's like saying "We're all adults, so let's please act like it"

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I presume it's a gay man who wants a straight acting gay partner.

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Do you mean a gay man who wants a straight acting lesbian or male seeks male? lol

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Male seeks male.

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ouchhhh i'd imagine a lot more pain than drama then ? trading b.i.t.c.h. for b.i.a.t.c.h. ? lol

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I think he wants to go straight from "How do you do?" to "Wanna have sex?"

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Really? So the "no drama" thing is more about "no attachments" or keeping it superficial?

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LOL, I am joking. I am so far out of the dating scene, I barely remember what the word means. I have never gone on a dating site; have no idea what anyone means when they say *no drama* What I would mean if I said it, would be NO drugs, alcohol, excess baggage, in the form of an ex who still EXPECTS care and support, no matter what other obligations he has.

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Oh, and NO head games.

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I'm far removed from the dating scene too. lol Which is one reason I'm asking the Q. "No drama" could mean all sorts of things, from one extreme to the other.

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:) but you still see the dating sites. Not as far removed from the dating scene as I am. BUT when I was 25 years younger, I wasn't so far removed either.

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Eh...I just browse to see "what's out there". :) Kinda scary actually!

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I'll take your word for it. I have no desire to even check it out. This is how you know when you're old. You aren't even browsing.

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I am actually looking forward to that. Darn hormones.

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I remember hormones. I don't miss them. Hahahaha!!

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He doesn't like Emmerdale Eastender's or Coronation Street

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Are those soaps?

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yes from uk

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