hes openly cheating on me, cell phone text messages, goes out at night late hours, stays the night at her house, doesnt pay me attention anymore, treats me like trash, i had kids by him twice, sacrificed my body, my education my life, did anything for him, came to his country to make him happy. im stuck here, i owe him a greencard because he paid everything, his family wants to see the kids, and are going out of their way to make me stay, they covered up his cheating. if i leave i could go to jail if i take the kids back to my country, without his consent, he threatened to sue me for aaaaaaaaaaalll the money back,and threatened my life. its only a few weeks until his greencard interview, i dont want him to have it, he spent money that was supposed to go on the kids on his mistress. large amounts of money has been spent on her, he does this because hes know he can get away with it and i cant say anything about him cheating because hes the provider, and he has lawyer friends. im alone
BrighterDaze BrighterDaze 18-21, F 7 Answers Nov 9, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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You have rights, too. Call a women's shelter and I'm sure they'll provide the answers you seek.

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my goal is to get home, the cost of living is high here, hes going to fight me for the kids if i go, i have no family here he does he has witnesses to lie for him and knows lawyers. this place is based on family and is male dominated and based on money, he already said im going to lose custody of them because hes the one with the money, i never brought up custody and he keeps bringing it up. he uses the kids to control me and taking them he knows it would hurt me because they are all i have.

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The beauty and curse of living in the digital age is that nearly everything is documented in one way or another.
I recommend developing a journal of items that demonstrate his lack of character and speak with professionals about the effects his actions will have on the children's future.
These things are expensive, so you'll need to raise money. Visit to create a profile and tell your story.
Get it out in the open on EP and any other forums you belong to. With luck and perseverance you will see the donations coming in to support your cause.

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I'm confused. You went to his country and owe him a green card? How do you get him a green card in his country?

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its even more simple than in the u.s it takes less time, it wasnt our agreement before i got here, he wanted to see our 1st child he left us 2 months after she was born and i was struggling financially, he said he loved me, sent money, i took the bait, no one else loved me my child was more important her having a father was very important to me and people around me were preventing me from loving myself no support in getting my life together they made my life a hell, i had no other option but to come here.i felt like he was the only one who loved me.

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He cheats, he threatened to sue you, he threatened your life. So he doesn't love you and he will never love you. You're still young so you really NEED to quit him.

Don't do anything illegal, it's very dangerous especially if you're a foreigner - it's sad to say, but it's true.

But your main goal is to leave him, with or without kids. Let the judges decide who will keep the kids, but no one can compel you to stay with him.

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ANY LADIES READING THIS ! PLEASE do not help any one from another country come here. They will want to treat you like the women in their country and you will be screwed...

If they treat the women like trash in their land then guess how you will be treated once he gets here !

NOW --------

You have no parents of your own or any other family to go to?

You have no womens help centers where you live?

You have no Police department?

You have no legs to simply start walking away?

I have heard stories of people so many times where they say they are STUCK there.


You just want to leave and take everything with you, and that is why you do not go.

So which do you really want? To get away, or to have everything?

And remember YOU made the decision to bring him here, you can tell the green card people to NOT let him have it.

But YOU have to have the guts to correct what you did in the first place.

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What country are you in?

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the most beautiful country in the world, italia. im getting help, but, i could still go to jail, i never filed a police report about the things hes done to me physically or the threats.

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I'm wondering if you could get "proof" of his cheating and then file for divorce. But I know nothing about the laws in Italy.

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it takes 3 years to grant a divorce here, the reason i want to just go home because it takes less time than that and if its granted from abroad its granted here too.

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