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If i give it to him she gets it too...what should i do

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Asked By: BrighterDaze 18-21, F  6 months ago

hes openly cheating on me, cell phone text messages, goes out at night late hours, stays the night at her house, doesnt pay me attention anymore, treats me like trash, i had kids by him twice, sacrificed my body, my education my life, did anything for him, came to his country to make him happy. im stuck here, i owe him a greencard because he paid everything, his family wants to see the kids, and are going out of their way to make me stay, they covered up his cheating. if i leave i could go to jail if i take the kids back to my country, without his consent, he threatened to sue me for aaaaaaaaaaalll the money back,and threatened my life. its only a few weeks until his greencard interview, i dont want him to have it, he spent money that was supposed to go on the kids on his mistress. large amounts of money has been spent on her, he does this because hes know he can get away with it and i cant say anything about him cheating because hes the provider, and he has lawyer friends. im alone

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    Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):

    41145and6 - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by 41145and6 Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:15AM

    You have rights, too. Call a women's shelter and I'm sure they'll provide the answers you seek.

    [ Reply ] | Like (4)

  1. BrighterDaze - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by BrighterDaze Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:34AM

    my goal is to get home, the cost of living is high here, hes going to fight me for the kids if i go, i have no family here he does he has witnesses to lie for him and knows lawyers. this place is based on family and is male dominated and based on money, he already said im going to lose custody of them because hes the one with the money, i never brought up custody and he keeps bringing it up. he uses the kids to control me and taking them he knows it would hurt me because they are all i have.

    Like (1)

  2. 41145and6 - 22-25 years old - male

    Reply by 41145and6 Nov 9th, 2012 at 10:10AM

    The beauty and curse of living in the digital age is that nearly everything is documented in one way or another. I recommend developing a journal of items that demonstrate his lack of character and speak with professionals about the effects his actions will have on the children's future. These things are expensive, so you'll need to raise money. Visit www.giveforward.com to create a profile and tell your story. Get it out in the open on EP and any other forums you belong to. With luck and perseverance you will see the donations coming in to support your cause.

    Like (1)

6 Answers to "If i give it to him she gets it too...what should i do"

  1. MmmBabi - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by MmmBabi Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:19AM

    I'm confused. You went to his country and owe him a green card? How do you get him a green card in his country?

    Like (3)

  2. BrighterDaze - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by BrighterDaze Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:27AM

    its even more simple than in the u.s it takes less time, it wasnt our agreement before i got here, he wanted to see our 1st child he left us 2 months after she was born and i was struggling financially, he said he loved me, sent money, i took the bait, no one else loved me my child was more important her having a father was very important to me and people around me were preventing me from loving myself no support in getting my life together they made my life a hell, i had no other option but to come here.i felt like he was the only one who loved me.

    Like (1)

  3. weirdcolor - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by weirdcolor Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:26AM

    He cheats, he threatened to sue you, he threatened your life. So he doesn't love you and he will never love you. You're still young so you really NEED to quit him.

    Don't do anything illegal, it's very dangerous especially if you're a foreigner - it's sad to say, but it's true.
    But your main goal is to leave him, with or without kids. Let the judges decide who will keep the kids, but no one can compel you to stay with him.

    Like (2)

  4. Wigglebottom - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Wigglebottom Nov 9th, 2012 at 9:22AM

    ANY LADIES READING THIS ! PLEASE do not help any one from another country come here. They will want to treat you like the women in their country and you will be screwed...
    If they treat the women like trash in their land then guess how you will be treated once he gets here !

    NOW --------

    You have no parents of your own or any other family to go to?
    You have no womens help centers where you live?
    You have no Police department?
    You have no legs to simply start walking away?

    I have heard stories of people so many times where they say they are STUCK there.
    NO YOU ARE NOT STUCK THERE. YOU CAN LEAVE, IF YOU WANT.
    You just want to leave and take everything with you, and that is why you do not go.

    So which do you really want? To get away, or to have everything?


    And remember YOU made the decision to bring him here, you can tell the green card people to NOT let him have it.
    But YOU have to have the guts to correct what you did in the first place.

    Like (1)

  5. Oneinabillion - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Oneinabillion Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:18AM

    Department of social services.

    Like (1)

  6. BrighterDaze - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by BrighterDaze Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:28AM

    went there...

    Like (1)

  7. BrighterDaze - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by BrighterDaze Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:36AM

    the social worker appears to be too busy to deal with me theres only 2. i bet if were some drug addict with crack on my face id be getting all the help there is. no one cares americans...

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  8. Vessa - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Vessa Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:15AM

    What country are you in?

    Like (1)

  9. BrighterDaze - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by BrighterDaze Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:21AM

    the most beautiful country in the world, italia. im getting help, but, i could still go to jail, i never filed a police report about the things hes done to me physically or the threats.

    Like (1)

  10. Vessa - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by Vessa Nov 9th, 2012 at 8:24AM

    I'm wondering if you could get "proof" of his cheating and then file for divorce. But I know nothing about the laws in Italy.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply

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