beings were both males and male spiders do not ever get along! guess have kill you!
I'd probably just offer you a beer...because I don't have a drink often, but you might as well, right?
Well being as if you asked this question as if your the spider and I can be whatever I want. I would be myself...only with my trustee lighter fluid and hair spray mix in a spray bottle. I would douse your entire web and you in it and throw match so fast. Then laugh and watch you burn till you hit the ground, then I would dip my shoe in the nearest dog crap then step directly on your head followed by a twisting motion. Then burn my shoe.
Well if we are just getting crazy with it and making up 6 foot tall spiders and ****. Then I guess I can take it to another level. I have a 20 gauge, 12 gauge, 22-250, 30-06, and just bought an AR-15 with a 30 round clip. Take your pick?
I would love you for a good 45 minutes before I killed you.
Then I would suffer you well, and I would try to enjoy your sucking skills appreciatively.
Foil Phazon's plan by enjoying it.
I would not kill you or love you, I would be that kinda parasite like spider which live beneath you on your food just for the heck of it.