GOOD LAWD, HERE WE GO AGAIN...LOL!!!

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"What's making it last"?<br />
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You are. Since you aren't standing up for yourself, you are giving him 'permission' to continue--he has absolutely no reason to stop since you are behaving like a doormat.<br />
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I understand your fear over losing the house, the car, the child--I was out of work for 9 mos. when I divorced my ex- (he took a swing at my son, aged 22 mos. That was the deal-breaker for me.) But it had reached the point that I could no longer live with myself; I had no self-respect and was in agony over having to cut my 'other half' off and go on without him. Yes, it was painful and yes, it was hard. I survived it, went through a lot of difficult times--and every single moment was worth it because of how much stronger I am. <br />
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You are obsessing over your husband's behavior and causing YOURSELF more pain than he is feeling. If he truly cared about your feelings, he would have stopped. He hasn't. What does that tell you about his priorities?<br />
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There is more to this situation than meets the eye. Is he abusive to you? Has he threatened you in some way? If so--and I also understand how difficult it can be to leave--you MUST reach out for help from someone. Do you want your young son to grow up believing that he, too, can treat women the same way that his father is treating you? Because that IS what will happen. Boys learn from their fathers what the role of husband looks like--and the example being set (even at such an early age) is indelible. <br />
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If you can't get help for yourself, do it for your son. Sometimes we are afraid to take a stand for ourselves, doing it for someone else gives us the ground to stand on for that first necessary step.

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Sorry hear bout your situation but no not abusers just cheater.I agree wth you.

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Why is it lasting? Because you allow it to. You need to leave his sorry ***.

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What's making it last? You're being passive. When will it end? As soon as there are consequences. Be proactive about this. I personally would have been gone forever by the time an hour passed after finding out my mate had gone elsewhere. I know not everyone agrees. But waiting for it to end helplessly? No. Stand up for yourself, dear.

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Even if does end he will cheat on you with someone else.

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You have two choices. Ignore it or confront it. If you ignore it, really ignore it. Don't investigate it. Don't keep tabs. Obviously after four years he is unlikely to leave the marriage, especially if it isn't a horrible marriage.<br />
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If you confront it, it'll force the situation. You will then either keep him or lose him. If you keep him it might be because he'll become more discreet. Or he may give up the affair. Or me may leave to be with her (if you have a terrible marriage.)<br />
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Again the length of time suggests he doesn't want to leave you. So the end of the marriage depends more on what you want to do about it.

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As soon as he comes home and you have a BIG one deep inside of you or even better sucking one, Now wait you are a cheater too both of you need to sit down and just hash it out... <br />
Divorce is coming I can almost bet my last dollar. So just have an open swinger's life or get out

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Huh

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Do it he will **** his pants and what's good for the goose is good for the gander

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Why should she bring herself down to his level? Just divorce the bastard and take every he has and every one he will ever make!

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He's a pig and doesn't deserve you

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You need to work on you as a wife you swore an oath to side by him through good and bad no one said what type of bad just bad! However you should demand the utmost respect and if your not receiving that than you need space and opportunity to see how your marriage will grow. You only get one life why waste it living an everyday life of unhappiness, disrespect, humiliation, loneliness. When you will start to love yourself and love the person staring back at you? People only do what you allow them to do!

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What about our house we bought last yr

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Take it from him and take him to the bank

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Are you seriously suggesting that your house is more important than your marriage?

Or are you concerned about how you will pay for it once he is gone?

You ARE strong enough to DO something about this situation beyond just posting 'poor pitiful me' questions every day. (Doing that is just making your unhappiness worse.)

PLEASE get some professional help. PLEASE.

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If she gets a good divorce lawyer she'll live in it and he'll have to keep paying for it.

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It will end the moment you grow a spine and leave that miserable, cheating, SOB!

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I think sooner he using her

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If he is using her for sex, he is using you to raise his child, keep his house and for sex when she's not available. Sorry, but the first sounds like he will take whatever he can get from her and you are the backup plan.

One is his lover; the other is his maid, nanny and part-time hooker. And you are allowing him to define which role you are playing.

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When you decide that you are worth more than being lied to and deceived - when you decide that you deserve a husband who has a good character and loves you with all his heart, who would never want to hurt you or make you feel less than what you are worth - that is when you will end the nonsense.

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So you know about it? And you have done nothing about it? So I guess you are ok with it then. And so is he, him knowing or feeling that you must know about it or sense it. So.. .its not ending soon unless something drastic happens......And its lasting because you let it happen, what man doesn't want to have his cake and eat it too??

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im hoping it stops

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Hoping is not good enough if you don't like it and want it to stop, make a stand because it will never stop unless as i said something drastic happens. So if you want it to stop that something drastic is YOU. You are his wife after all!! Let him know, give an ultimatum. It will let you know where you really stand in the marriage. That is if you really want to know.....

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Your letting it happen where are you we can show him....

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It will stop with bimbo #1 and then start with bimbo #2 as long as he knows he can get away with it.

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Exactly!!!

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It's not going to stop-he's verry comfortable-nice house, cute wifey, great mommy cooking for him and romance is just down the street drinking a martini waiting for him.....

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I don't see how he can come home to her and live with himself. I know I couldn't.

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Sounds like you are either a very silly lady or a glutten for punishment

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Or just dumb as a sack of wet hair.

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I got the man so

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So..you're saying that you're having an affair too?

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Huh no my hubby what are you talking about

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Oh, OK. I misunderstood your last statement. So you're fine with the man that stood beside you and vowed 'till death do us part' screwing around while you sit home waiting for him? Is there something mentally wrong with you, or are you so fu@king stupid that you think Emily Post was an Army camp?

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Doesn't sound like much of a catch to me. About all you really have is a wealthy roommate.

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Oh come on, don't say that, marriage is very complicated. You don't know what she/they are going through or what her situation is. People take marriage too lightly nowadays. Its so easy to divorce but whatever happened to the vows you took?? Is this now a style? I know a few very close friends in this same situation and each situation is very complexed and different and not as easy to just say she is stupid or likes punishment. It has many variables, how long you have been married, is he going through some sort of crisis, your relationship before, are you both going through some sort of hard times, mentally, emotionally, financially....new kid? DO you really love each other....Its not a simple black and white answer

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I am not justifying anyone's behavior but we are all human and we should not judge unless we too are perfect. Not trying to be religious either but just fair

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I was married for 28 years before that b1tch cheated on me. I took our marriage very seriously but she didn't.

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sorry to hear that. Don't be too angry. I was married for twenty six years......we just didn't work out because we changed.

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I'm sorry to hear that your marriage went sour also. I'm not angry, I just don't trust any Woman anymore.

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