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My husband will be fine one minute not talking the next. He will say he doesn't know if he loves me or not. He caused me to lose 3 dogs that were my life and he felt bad and let me get another dog. Now he says that dog is ruining our relationship. If I gget rid of my dog will he be happy or just find something else to be upset with me about. He doesn't like my friends so I can't talk yo them on the phone, I have no friends here cause the only people he wants tone around are his family and he wont let me go to church to meet people. He doesn't help with any house work but complains about everything I do. What should I do?
BuddysMommy BuddysMommy 41-45, F 5 Answers Jul 4, 2012

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It sounds like your husband is struggling with some deep issues and he's not communicating at all well. From the sounds of it, he's not just depressed, he's very insecure and is attacking you to boost his own self-esteem - that's pretty common behaviour, but it never actually works.



What you need to do is to now become more assertive. Lay down some ground rules for his behaviour. He must learn to accept that he cannot rule you and you have a right to a decent quality of life too. Isolation is one of the classic ways people cause insecurity in others - and he's done that to you. Also blaming the dog(s) for your marriage issues is clearly untrue - but he probably can't at this stage admit it's his issue.



I'd firstly advise you to be clear in your own mind what you want. What are you prepared to accept, what will you not tolerate? What do you want from that relationship? Those are critical questions you must answer to set yourself some goals and boundaries.



It could well be you and he need professional help and there's no shame in that. I'd suggest you check out what's available and also if you want to be involved in your church or other social activities then do so - regardless of what he says.



Good luck!

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On a positive note at least he lets you use his computer ?

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Why are you asking people on EP about this ****? Seriously, imagine someone idiot gave advice, which you in your distressed state of mind took in blindly, since emotion tends to do that.

You need to ask someone that deals with important matters.

I think your husband is depressed though.

One more thing, keep the dog no matter what, dogs are the ****!

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You should write him a letter telling him how you feel.



Make him sit and read it.



Maybe also go for counseling, if you think that may help.



Get him to go to the doctor to get checked out for depression as well, if you think that is the cause.

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that's easy by shutting out her person who is shutting you out there by having a reverse action on the previous person shutting you out ....

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see what I mean by a retarded response?

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ever here of reverse psychology (Brainless)

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