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Yesterday a close friend and I were having an argument, and he told me that I was broken. I was so hurt by that, I really respect his opinion. I dont really know what he meant though. I figure that when something gets broken, you throw it away and get a replacement, and that it was time for me to be replaced. He says that is not what he means, but struggled to explain what he meant by it. I would like to know what you guys think it means.
fatalcharm fatalcharm 26-30, F 20 Answers Mar 13, 2010

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I happen to be a part time "junk" artist as well as a devout practitioner of the I-can-make-it-better-than-it-was school of belief. Hence, to me "broken" almost NEVER denotes nor even suggests throwing the item away. REPAIR is not just the keystone word that comes after "broken" in my lexicon but REPAIR to the degree of "watch this baby, when I'm done fixing this it will be passed from generation to generation!". That said, and I know you only asked for that as an answer, I think if your friend really believed he/she used the word "broken" in proper context and definition, then he/she should be able to clarify further for you what he/she meant. If you ask, and he/she skirts answering your request and tries to fudge-out about what was meant, then I say that he/she used the word "broken" merely because he/she heard someone else use it (perhaps on him/her?) and thought it was a cool word that would sound impressive in an attempt to dazzle or confuse you.

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He is first of all cruel, he didnt say as a friend gently he evidently threw it at you to make you feel diminished..which means, he isnt a friend, and he is the one with the broken conscience of compassion. dont give his words a second thought ...nothing wrong with you except your connection to him:) which if broken would be better for you.

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I would say if he meant it emotionally it says that you are hurting from something bad in your life.. mentally it means that you are not coping with something in your life well.. It is hard without explanation though to understand what he meant by "broken" if things are stable in your life then he should not have said that .. and i wouldnt want to talk to them again if no explanation was given ,, fair enough that people have an opinion,, but not fair not to explain it

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Like a soldier coming back from Iraq with debilitating PTSD you could say that she or he was "broken" of course it's all a matter of degree how "broken" is the person, I have OCD and was abused as a child, I have problems just depends on how much it affects the person weather they are on the street because of it or are they just a little pissed off?

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My interpretation of "you are broken" is "you need to see a professional".

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First, let's remember that being INFP makes us different. And, we may appear broken to people who do not get how we think, feel or react. Sometimes what is intensely problematic for others does not effect us, and vice versa. That said, is your friend wanting something from you which you cannot or do not want to give? Or, is it not possible to see each other's point of view because of personality differences? I believe, based on our experiences, we each have a level of brokeness which can be perceived (or pointed out) by others. How they help us recognize it or grow through it is the good test of a friendship.

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The range of answers you received to your question is amazing. What is equally amazing is the distribution of answers by gender and age.<br />
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First, when people argue, they often say things that are intended to hurt. Its a fairly common way of fighting.<br />
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Second, it is also common for people to say things in the midst of a fight that they feel but are generally too civilized and empathic to say. Whatever he meant, its probably something he has felt for some time but would not or could not figure out how to say.<br />
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Third, men and women think, talk, and fight very differently. Women are emotional beings who are on average more emotive and more expressive of their feelings than men. When women talk, especially about emotions, they are often sharing their feelings but want nothing from the conversation other than for you to understand how they feel. Men are far less emotional, far less emotive, and generally express feelings poorly. They are more action oriented and need to solve problems. <br />
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If a woman tells a woman about a problem, the woman commiserates and says "You poor woman, its terrible what you have to deal with" and you both feel better. When you tell a man about the same problem, hoping for the same response, the man says "Sorry about your problem, what do you want me to do to fix it?"<br />
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Because I can only guess here, I would surmise that you are very emotive and share a lot of your problems with this guy. You are looking for him to emote his feelings of caring about your problems. From a man's perspective, doing this can come across as you being needy or "broken." This is even more true if the problems you share with him are problems he can do nothing about. You sharing problems with him that he cannot act upon and fix causes a great deal of frustration and anger on his part. He is thinking "What does she want me to do?"<br />
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Go back and talk to him and ask him if this is what is going on? If it is, you need to find some girlfriends you can share your feelings with and only tell this guy about the problems you want him to fix. Do not tell him about problems you do not want him to fix and that he could not fix no matter how much he wishes he could do so.

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Even if someone is broken, it's amazing how they can love you with all their little broken pieces. He probably just meant you need an outlook improvement.

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If someone told you that you were broken, you should interpret it literally at first. What I mean by this is that they imagine you as someone who's mentally or emotionally broken.<br />
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But, in your specific case, it must be something he said due to the circumstance wherein both of you fought. It maybe similar as FU or Feces.<br />
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The best solution to this is to ponder if you want him back into your life or not. If you want him back, it's best to make peace. If not, then it's best to move on.

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wow. more infp's...<br />
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i would interperate broken to mean mentally not healthy. i think it implies he thinks you need fixing. i don't think this is a very nice thing to say to someone. and i don't think people can be defective. all humans are imperfect. including him.

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i would think he meant you had difficulties with handling certain issues. Not that you were like a broken item to be thrown away. Communication, understanding and clarity is what is needed here. From him i mean. Can you sit him down and have a good talk?

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I think you should ask him this question, and be prepared for a long drawn out explanation of what is really wrong with him.

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HHmmm-not the nicest thing for him to say-is it?.<br />
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I.ve called someone "empty" what I meant was they give nothing to me emotionally. It was my Mum. She gave me nothing I wanted or needed-encouragement, praise or support-I was better of without her in my life.<br />
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Cant say what your friend meant.

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hurting?

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