"Do or do not. There is no try," Yoda. No need to hem and haw. Just do it.

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I'd tell them as soon as I became aware of their intent.

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Whether you believe it or not, you should always inform somebody. Just because you don't believe someone's going to do it, doesn't mean they won't. You could possibly save a life.

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not at the wake.

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but you actually didn't know

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