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If the God of the Bible was my lover, I'd break up with Him so fast His head would spin.

-He rigidly controls what you're allowed to wear
-************ is punishable with torture
-He will kill you to test your family
-He forbids divorce
-He doesn't believe it's a woman's choice to work
-He believes your newborn child is inherently evil until it's submitted to His ritual
-If you make him angry, He will torture you
-If you show too much skin, as a female, he will have you raped by dozens of men
-His love is purely conditional, if you fail to obey him and don't apologize, you will be tortured

Those are all examples from the Bible itself. Thoughts?

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    Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):

    AnonymousButCandid - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by AnonymousButCandid Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:22AM

    My thoughts are these, as a non-religious person: People who wrote those scriptures -- made god in OUR image, not the other way around.

    [ Reply ] | Like (6)

10 Answers to "If the God of the Bible was my lover, I'd break up with Him so fast His head would spin."

  1. FallenAngelLilith - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by FallenAngelLilith Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:38AM

    You must have forgotten that he is also a jealous and vengeful god. You might want to be careful while trying to break up with that guy or he may just decide to once again have roast lamb for dinner!

    Like (2)

  2. number145 - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by number145 Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:33AM

    The Bible is fiction stolen from Egyptian mythology.

    Like (2)

  3. angelicsmiles - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by angelicsmiles Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:31AM

    I just find this hilarious. I am thinking how my zealously catholic friend will take it because I so plan to use your comments. And oh, I agree with you.

    Like (2)

  4. avaria - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by avaria Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:28AM

    People seriously need to have greater belief in themselves the
    best belief system you can have. Now that is reality.

    Like (2)

  5. ThisAnna - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by ThisAnna Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:23AM

    Jesus seems like a catch though :P

    Like (2)

  6. sumnerkagan - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by sumnerkagan Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:23AM

    You mean the old testament.

    God in the new testament is pretty much a hippie dude who just wants us all to get along...

    Like (2)

  7. Sadandsulkingpuppy - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by Sadandsulkingpuppy Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:22AM

    If the god in the crap infested book were real, I'd make his life a living, breathing and walking hell! Buuuuuut since he isn't real, I guess I have to do that with religious!

    Like (2)

  8. 4forglencoco - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by 4forglencoco Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:22AM

    WTF. Don't take the Bible literaly and you will be okay.

    Like (2)

  9. Cheree - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Cheree Mar 8th, 2013 at 2:32AM

    That is the Old Testament God....He changes radically in the New Testament...

    Like (1)

  10. SparklyRain - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by SparklyRain Mar 8th, 2013 at 7:01AM

    And God's supposed to be the same today,yesterday,and forever.hahaha

    Like (1)

  11. Cheree - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by Cheree Mar 9th, 2013 at 12:18AM

    The "truth" is whatever "they" tell us it is, until we become smart enough to know that it isn't the truth at all....

    Like (1)

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