It seems to me that we are indoctrinated from an early age that life is about success and failure, that we must succeed and that if we do not we are worthless failures. At the end of the day, it is nothing more than a cultural thing, and a modern one at that. I am 47 years old and grew up in South Wales. I remember getting advice from schoolteachers and others in the 1970s and it was this, get a good trade or a good job and forget about it. The most common advice I remember being given (and this was very frequent indeed). Dont go down the ****** pit (coal mine). People didn't seem to live much with this success and failure mentality, it was just a question of getting through life and putting bread on the table (and a nice piece of lamb on sundays!) The TV had only three channels and only two were on most of the time, so we were not indoctrinated with all this nonsense. People socialised much more than they do now and were supportive of each other. Why do we now have to be "successful" Why do so many women on this network think they are unattracive? Why do these things matter so much? It is not reality, but cultural indoctrination, and it is making people ill.
You have to stick to one thing and keep going. There comes a time when what I call a 'quantum leap' happens- when a milestone occurs. Success occurs in small steps and as long as you are moving forward you can not call yourself a failure. In fact even if you go backwards- sometimes you do appear to be going backwards but all of the sudden a quantum leap will occur and you will find yourself 2 steps ahead.<br />
The key secret is to just never give up, identify where yuo are stuck, set a goal around each step and take a new approach to accomplishing one step at a time.<br />
A really really good way to learn the lesson about learning what it takes to succeed in everything you do is to take up something like typing. In this activity you have to be extremely detail oriented and you must follow and understand the steps to each stage of knowledge precisely or you will not be able to move forward. Sometimes you can get stuck in one lesson for weeks for example but then a quantum leap happens and you pass the stage you were stuck in. I highly reccommend you learn to type in another language that you do not know without labeling your keyboard at all.<br />
Once you master how to type in another language you will be able to see the precise steps it took you to succeed and then you will know how to succeed in anything you try. A great place to do this is www.alfatyping.com (you can try it with the Russian language or do English typing- either way will do the job).<br />
One barrier to success in any activity is the tendency to take shortcuts. Short cuts will ALWAYS throw you off track in the longrun, so do not succumb to shortcuts.<br />
Finally once you have mastered a skill like typing you can move on to more complex skills like learning an instrument, learning how to draw ect. These are more complex skills because they involve creativity and sometimes the creativity lures you from following the actual factual skills you must learn to really be an excellent drawer for example. (That is why there is so much bad art in the name of art or bad poetry in the name of poetry). If you learn to type and master it you will realize that every last thing out there that you do involves precision and yu will learn precison in every stage and skill you attempt in any area- this will serve as your foundation and then you will actually master whatever it is you want to master and you will one day gain expert knoweldge, skill ect. It takes a lot of work but once you learn HOW to succeed trust me it will be like walking - it will come naturally.<br />
It takes a lot of work to suceed. Some people just don't care if they suceed because it does take work. Some people just have a round of interests and no areas of expertise. And in those interests they do whatever they can to just help out or be a back up person. It is better not to have any area of expertise and to just support an area of interest in any way you can, then to put yourself in a position that is over your head and be expected to have expertise where you don't. That is why there are so many really really bad professionals out there who do not know what they are doing.<br />
I have had this issue for 33 years. I try, I practice, I put all the time I have into it, and then fail and fail big. This is where people will "oh well everyone fails sometimes....". Um yeah, but not every time and not total and complete failure. Like if you train in taekwondo for 4 years and you lose a sparring match 2-5. So what, you got a few points, everyone loses now and then. But if you're a red belt, sparring white belts and they beat you 0-5 for 3 rounds. At that point it is time to hang up your hat. Yet no one ever seems to get what a true failure is going through.<br />
I wish I had a good answer for you but I have decided to keep to myself, just do my job and wait for the end. Its all that can be done.
Failure is not what you think it is. If a normal cell in your body succeeded in gaining protein, that would be an overall success, as it would contribute to the greater good. However, if a cell in a tumor of a cancer infected organ succeeded in gaining protein, the action would detract from the well being of the whole body, consequently giving resources to cancer. Humans are a cancer infected organ of the gaia system. In a way, success in our society is failure, and failure success, as all one does by succeeding is helping society grow and therefore helping society sap resources from the planet. This goes against the greater good of all life. The only case in which success is success in the cancerous human organ is if one is working for the greater good, with regards to the benefit of all life. For example, contrary to pressure and popular belief that procreating is succeeding, procreating is actually a sheer failure in our society.<br />
Be productive in a way that is fruitful to yourself, and when you are ready, swap your old values for values pursuing the greater good. This is the only way to truly succeed in terms of what you really are, part of something bigger..
Failing is just a way of allowing your self to explore further. If you give up, you'll never succeed, and think of all the things you'll miss on the way while you sit back and allow yourself to fail. <br />
Head high, and keep moving foward.
If you PLAN to fail, then work at it. <br />
Ergo you have succeeded
maybe try doing something different. you don't say what you've tried to do. you can read, that is a success, many people can't read. you can write. (i'm assuming) you can walk. i'm not trying to sound stupid. you already do so many things each day, that maybe you take for granted that you can do. if there's something in particular you want to do, make a plan of steps you can take, to get you to the point of where you can do it. say you want to be able to run for an hour. start out runing ten minutes every day, then each week you add 5 more minutes - wk one you run ten min, wk two you run fifteen, wk three you run twenty minutes... it may take like 3 months or whatever, but if you want it, you'll get there. don't give up, keep trying.
Is there another way other than just trying? It doesn't matter whether it's a relationship, or a job. The moment you stop trying, ALL hope is gone. The only that any of us can do is try.
Because once we realise where we have gone wrong and change course we can only succeed!
Widen the goalpost, try something else, life isnt serious business. Be sure you're not boxing yourself into a definition of success that is not you.
yes i agree with duana! for if i did not plan OR just have hope in some degree of goodness and kindness and honesty in this world i would have probaly died when i had the chance, and when i feel like i am at rock bottom i SOMEHOW drag myself back up and back into a sort of normal routine the deal is to just keep HOPING AND BELIEVING....well thats what i think because it has worked for me...and to also keep walking and keep doing it NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF! and remember people do care! i have to KEEP reminding myself that DAILY but its the truth and someday i hope all of us that have been through some hard hard hard and rough rough rough times will forget the past and create a MUCH better and ENLIGHTENED FUTURE! i believe you will succeed in your life trials because in the end we human beings are SURVIVALISTS we keep going NO MATTER WHAT! and we eventually find ourselves at the point we wanted to be BUT only if we TRULY work for it! i wish you the best! smile! laugh! cry! hug someone! and remember ppl DO CARE!<br />
The only thing you can do is give it your best. If you did and still don't succeed, you have done more than most and should be proud.
Never look for a way out....<br />
Look for a way..<br />
Find the good in the other things you have failed at, and then build on that. With every failure there is some success...look for that...
Take time out to have a cup of coffee (or whatever you enjoy) and have a Big Think! There must be some basic reason why you fail at EVERYTHING...?
you cant stop. you have to keep going.
success is failure turned inside out.............<br />
Prehaps you are going about things the wrong way..If its not working for you then listen to the universe and try something else...........break the task into smaller tasks and tackle things one at a time.<br />
Each failure should be considered one step closer to achieving the desired result. A failure is just feedback to let you know what needs to be done to succesfully achieve the desired result. Did you know that Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before he succeeded in the invention of the lightbulb, when asked how he dealt with those failures, he stated that he didn't ever fail, he just got 10,000 opportunities to make it better! I think he has the right idea...
The only alternative is giving up. It's not an attractive option.
Eventually I cannot go on. The world is vast and powerful and can bring you to your knees over a period of time especially when you have failure piled upon failure. I get to the point where I have nothing left to fight with or for and I just lay there on the floor beaten. My wife is usually there for me - she helps me up. She helps me move forward. Without her I would have taken my own life years ago.