not all answers are good answers. lol
Don't stop believing in yourself.
Please show compassion to yourself. Turn the voice inside your head into "you at 90 years old" who knows how bad it was to make that mistake, or get hurt in that awful way, but that it will be okay, and you get through this, and you know how to do better next time so no use in beating yourself up.
Wait for it, wait for it.....
think of the past
Stop contributing to the lies that white people are a superior race (e.g. Jesus is white) and that white women are the most attractive women in the world. It's not true and you will burn in hell if you don't admit the truth before you die.
I know for a fact that He does. Just because He doesn't speak to YOU doesn't mean He doesn't exist. Either way, you're going to see Him soon and me too and I will tell you how I told you so.
And so? And how do you know that you are not the one that's demented? They called Jesus demented too, you know.
where did you get that idealogy from ?