I have wonderful children and a hardworking devoted wife. I'm actively involved in our community and have several awesome friends. Yet, I have a strong urge to just get up and disappear and just be alone. I actually think about this every day. It's not like my life is terrible or that i have financial or marital issues. I just want to be by myself to do my own thing.Life goes on, right? My kids will be ok, my wife will manage. <br />
Is it normal to have the desire to walk out of the front door, no notice to anyone, no packing, no planning, no $, no cellphone, no car even...just leave? That's what I want to do. Not sure what's holding me back, but I'm certain that I will so this eventually.
Funny thing...I was pondering this just yesterday.<br />
I feel like I do wanna go...Not much holding me here where I'm at. however my family is falling apart...I'm trying to see what I can do to stop that because it REALLY doesn't Need to fall apart ..Not now. But that is the reality and there seems to be little I can do but Watch...I don't think I wanna be around to see all the pieces fall...or to be a witness to people I love **** the rest of thier lives away because they don't want my concern or interference. As the years have passed...so have friends...some died, some are strung out, some injail, some lost...but really I don't REALLY have friends....thats ok...all I need is One and he has a family so it's hard for us to link up ....don't see him much but the love is always there. Runnning away and starting over sounds really good right now...however finances Are an obstacle at the moment..but I'm addressing that. Hopefully I will be able to get it together and Leave and let my loved ones do what they will with the rest of thier lives...it's thier Right...but I wont be a witness. Hopefully I can leave sooner than later...but where will I go??
go get my true love. rescue her from the pain she is in.....but with out anything i dont know she would want me....
That kind of feeling is very fleeting-- I wouldn't want to live my life without my husband and children.
i've sometimes felt like that..the feeling passes..it wouldn't be my loved ones i would be leaving..just the pressures of my life..i would never do that while i have people relying on me<br />
Technically, I guess I could do that now. Except that I would never leave my son. But other than having him in tow, there really is very little holding me anywhere. My mom lives five hours away. As long as I can get to her for visits and if she needs me, I could pretty much do as you suggest.<br />
So what is stopping me? I guess I don't really know what I would do. I don't know where I could go. <br />
I think it would depend on if I had financial resources or not. If I were footloose and fancy free, I'd probably go to New Zealand and see if I'd like it there. Perhaps visit other parts of the US (like Vermont) to see what might feel like home. Get a little job or buy some land and have a little farm. Maybe raise alpacas. Maybe go back to school for a while. <br />
Honestly, I am trying to figure all this out now. I never thought I'd be in this type of limbo in my life. I don't like it.
I would want to move to India to obtain a better knowledge of the Vedas.
The same things...I'm sad because I'm unemployed right now, and terribly difficult things have happened to me, but I have a wonderful daughter (more than I could have ever dreamed of), and a really good husband, so I would want the same life.
I not sure if I want to start over. I just want to walk far away just to get away. Just walk.
I feel like I have no family, and those that I have, I have been "used up". I want to be myself in a different location with no one asking me to give, to do, to fix, to go, and if you complete "your assignment", you get not a word of thanks, appreciation, or it is "wrong" according to them. If I had better nerve and sure way, I would commit suicide.
Just walk away from it. Try it and feel u love it..and want to know it and if u realise u need it and have the courage just go for it...<br />
The more u dread it..the lesser u ll think of it.<br />
So do it at pace and take time to savour the harrsh reality of getting out of your comfort zone...<br />
Remember...one can never be too comfortable