1. I allowed myself to grieve for the past hurts I had endured. I had previously just buried whatever pain I was feeling, or distracted myself with anything possible to avoid feeling it. When I allowed myself to grieve for the injustices I had suffered, it was amazing how much of a release it was.
2. After releasing it (this took about a year- don't rush yourself, just keep working at it), I forced myself to sit down and make a plan for what I wanted to do with my life. I contemplated what I wanted out of life and I made a list of the things I would need to do to achieve those goals.
3. I set out to work toward those goals. I refused to look back. When negative feelings would start to enter my head, I would take out my list of goals and visualize how wonderful my life could be if I kept those negative feelings OUT of myself. I focus only on the future.
4. I forgive myself when I slip up or lose focus. We are human, not Cylons! We are going to mess up, and the important thing is to treat yourself as though you were your own child. If your child makes a mistake, you don't hold it against them and make them relive it constantly and use it against them... so why do you do this to yourself? Forgive. Love yourself.
5. I try to do as many kind things for other people and animals as I can. You don't have to be rich or hand out money- you can show kindness in a vast amount of ways, whether it's volunteering at a shelter, a nursing home, a children's center, or an animal shelter. Listen to people and treat them how you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. People underestimate the power of being compassionate... you will feel like a new human being, and seeing the hardships others endure will allow you to more easily be able to count your blessings and be thankful. You'll feel good.
move into another city- country
you are not defined by any single experience its the culmination