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If you found flirtatious text messages in your husband's phone.....?

I found txt msgs in my husbands phone that were sent back and forth between him and another woman that he met while in rehab She said things to him like "goodnight handsome" "hey punkin" etc what would you do? Most of the text messages were deleted. He was shocked that I even found the ones I did. When asked about it he became very defensive and angry.He told me I was acting crazy because I became so furious with him. He swears up and down that he didn't cheat. But I feel as if he has cheated on me emotionally even though he may not have done anything physically. His excuse to me was that he wasn't getting the positive attention he needed from me so when he began getting it from someone else he liked it. The situation has since been dropped but I still think about it. AND HERES THE PROBLEM Hes now back at the rehab facility and my stomach is in KNOTS wondering what he's doing... I want to trust him. *I JUST WNT 2 LT U KNW THT THE FLIRTING WAS MUTUAL BETWEEN THEM* & I wsnt srchin 4 it

Posted 1 month ago

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Hey i'm sorry. My marriage broke up over that very thing. It was kind of a last straw for her, and we were at such a low point, that i didn't care. It wasn't an affair, but it was emotional betrayal. The beauty of intimacy between my wife & i had gone and i had been so alone for so long, so many years, i just wanted someone to talk to. I honestly didn't want more. But it's dangerous, and had become a text flirtation, because my psychological isolation created a deep need for human contact. Fortunately she lived across the ocean.
So my married crashed. It was horrible. But we sorted it out, rebuilt, and we are deeply, intimately in love (4 years on).
I don't know how to help other than share that. Hang in there.

Posted 1 month ago

Other 16 Answers to If you found flirtatious text messages in your husband's phone.....?

Fourandahalfdays	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:55AM I am with you. This would be a problem to me. Rated: +4Vote for this!
durbanpoison	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 12:35AM that simply f*cking sucks. im sorry. Rated: +4Vote for this!
ActaNonVerba71	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 6:26AM F*ck him. You don't go secretly talking with members of the opposite sex like that when you're married, period. If he's not happy, he needs to work on it with you (and perhaps a counselor). If, after some time, he's still not happy, he needs to ask for a divorce. Relationship 101: do not start one while in one. You are right to say he is emotionally cheating. Rated: +4Vote for this!
softkitti	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:56AM I would not be happy at all , that doesnt sound right.. I would be up front with and save myself alot of aggrevation, Im sorry :( Rated: +3Vote for this!
TravelinMan39	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:56AM Sorry to hear that it's all your fault. Been there, heard that, and it's bullshit. Rated: +3Vote for this!
atasteforsufferin g	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 2:28AM he put the blame back on you that's bs. i hope things work out but he sounds like a manipulator. so be careful and good luck cool avatar btw Rated: +3Vote for this!
takethesebrokenwi ngs	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:56AM I would be worried. hugs Rated: +3Vote for this!
tarquino	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:56AM Don't worry, he was fuc*ed up and lonely. It's a common thing in rehab - the drugs they put in you there are damn strong. If you feel that you have a relationship that is worth hanging on to then just ignore it. You've got a lot more to think about than a flirtation (oh, just wait for the next twelve months), and be honest, have you never flirted yourself without any real desire for an outcome? (Most of the answers above don't really cut the mustard for me, but that's just me...) Rated: +3Vote for this!
midlifemadness	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 12:36AM I would be upset too... Im sorry for your troubles. that suxs.... I would talk to him and tell him you know he's in rehab but it bothers you and hurts you to think he would be flirting with someone else. Im sure part of the problem is whatever he is in rehab for. He needs to work on him first before he can really be a good partner to you. Maybe you should both seek counseling together.... they can help a lot. hang in there... hugsss Rated: +2Vote for this!
CrossEyedMary	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 8:31AM He's trying to blame YOU for his ***** behavior. Maybe now would be a good time to remind yourself that YOU can have fun, too, and not in a rehab (which is just chock full of **** who like to blame their ***** behavior on drugs). Hey, what's good for the goose... Rated: +2Vote for this!
LizardKing	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:58AM 1. Wait until he takes a nice hot bath. 2. Plug in your kitchen toaster and toss it in with him Rated: +2Vote for this!
HumanOddity	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 10:17AM You just cannot possibly understand what he's going through, so that's why you cannot give the kind of support he needs right now, and this other person is probably going through the same thing, and they have a connection that you and your husband can never have, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he feels anything romantic for her, or that he's banging her daylights out. I can see how it'd freak you out, though, as there's no way you can positively know. Maybe you need to speak with the woman, and maybe she can help you understand your husband in the way she does. Rated: +2Vote for this!
vexonic	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 12:13AM copy and paste. Rated: +1Vote for this!
nomedeplume	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 4:09AM First of all he is in rehab - he is going through a very difficult time, he does not know who he is or he feels alone, so connections become very valuable and they can be framed in terms such as that Secondly, perhaps he is looking for someone who does not go through his phone and checks up on him at every opportunity, from experience, once someone doubts you you figure, I may as well have the fun as well as the blame, as he/she is never going to trust me anyway Rated: +1Vote for this!
goggos	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 5:02AM I dated someone found the flirtatious text messages... so I got hold of her husband to be (mobile number) arranged to meet him and told my boyfriend - Seen you and "sl***t" have so much in common - I want to meet up with her husband to be ... Just to let him see who I am and what I have to offer...and maybe just maybe (We can get together this gives you two time to carry on with your romance) - He begged me to cancel and guess what husband to be dumped her and thanked me! (win again)! ha revenge is sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rated: +1Vote for this!
Jaslov	Posted Oct 21st, 2009 at 6:02AM My dear..... emotionally cheat on him too. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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