If you have cheated:What was the final thing that tipped you over the edge to cheat on your significant other?

Okay, this might be unpopular, but you asked...

I cheated on a partner (once), and I'm not proud of it. What tipped me over the edge? It was honestly a huge combination of factors. My partner had taken a job elsewhere and moved out of our home. I was left tackling bills, and house renovations, and enormously long work hours, all by myself. I was frustrated, and felt somewhat valueless. My partner didn't make any moves to remedy the situation, even when I asked him to. He ignored my request to get married (we'd been together five years), forgot my birthday, and then told me that I was just being a drama queen when I got upset about it. There had been good things in our relationship (I wouldn't have stuck around if there hadn't been anything positive), but those good things had slowly faded away. I was unhappy, and very, very lonely...

And then I met a guy. He was nice, and funny, and he seemed to want to take care of me. Within a couple of hours of meeting him, he was bringing me cups of coffee as I worked, and generally just hanging around. It's the coffee that sticks with me: I only told him once how I took my coffee, and he just remembered from then on. My partner couldn't remember how I took my coffee, even after 5 years... But this new guy helped me out when I needed help - and he didn't belittle me for it. He walked me to my car after work, and pulled me out of the way of a truck. He made me feel safe... And I needed that, so much...

When he asked me out, I said "no". I had a partner, and I wasn't available... He looked crushed. And, within 20 minutes, I was seeking him out to apologize. I didn't want him to think that he was lacking in any way. I needed to reassure him that it wasn't just a blow-off - if I was single, I'd have been very interested... And, when I did that, it occurred to me that I really cared about this new guy. I couldn't stand the idea of him being hurt. I was so glad that he had come into my life, and he made me so unbelievably happy - within a few days of meeting him, I already realized that I couldn't imagine my life without him...

Within a few weeks, we were talking about getting married. It was silly really - we both knew that I had another "relationship" which I wasn't dealing with. But it just felt so right. I'd never been so in love...

The first night he stayed over with me, I already knew that I had no future with my then partner. But, after five years, (and all of the mutual assets and expectations of our families piled onto that relationship) I just didn't know how to end it. I think, inviting a new man - a man that I loved - into my life was a means to finally create the psychic "break" that I needed. I needed to know that my past was over - and so I killed it....

The next time I saw my partner, I told him what had happened. After he'd got past the yelling and the tears, I went and sat outside on the front step with him, and we discussed (like adults) how to split up our assets. We both knew that it was over. I had fallen in love with a man who really seemed to love me back...

Life is never simple though. I'll never know to what degree the relationship I started that night was poisoned by the way in which it began. It was the fruit of a poisoned tree - and it damn near killed me. But that's another story...

FWIW, I actually agree with MrMorton. It's evil to blame others for the fact that you made a choice like this one. And I'm adult enough to take responsibility for my actions. I shouldn't have made the choices that I did. And nothing that my ex-partner did justified how I chose to end things. I was too much of a coward to confront our problems (and end the relationship) before it came to that point. For that, I'm very sorry... I can't change the past - I can only learn from it and struggle to do better next time. People can (and do) change. But it takes commitment, and genuine regret...

I think it was him always accusing me of cheating or threatening to leave me.

He became someone I didn't know anymore, If I went somewhere he would always time me and then ask me who was I with.

If I took a shower durning the day he would want to see my underwear to see if it smelled like another man.

He had such wonderful friends always calling him telling him he saw me with another man or they have a video tape of me having sex with other men! **********

This man made me feel like I was cheating and that I was totally guilty of this act.

I finally told him one day if you keep treating me this way I will shake you like a wet dog and find someone else I had a horrible life as a child and I sure the hell am not going to put with this bull **** any longer!

Then things grew more intense he started to abuse and try to get me fired from many jobs. I couldn't even think half of the time I became a person who I wasn't.

We also had kids together I believe when you marry it was forever.

I finally had enough I filed for divorce papers. DO you think it stopped him from staying out of my life? Oh hell no! It intensived 10x fold If he seen me with another man he would threaten him or even start a fight.

I remember one time He try to run he off the road because I didn't smile at him.

I call the cops everytime and document it then when it came to court the judge said if you guys don't grow-up and act like adults I will personally take your kids away!
wtf are you kidding me, its his bullshit not me!

I never want to get married again. Men can personally shove that ring right up their ***! no offense but If you went through that or you even put a woman through that you aren't man You are just a little boy with major insecurities!

Yes, they push jme over the edge I finally cheated. now he can say your just like the rest of the evil *******!

My husband cheated on me. I didn't find out until we were divoiced. I was very unhappy in my marraige and deceided to leave. I meet up with an old friend the chemistry is unbelieveable. He told me straight out that he was married and I resisted for months. Then one day it just happened I gave in. I am not proud of what we are doing its been over a year now we talk almost everyday and see each other sometime two or three times a week. I don't know what will become of this. I try not to call him for days and set my mind to leave him then the phone will ring and it will be him.I told him of my fears of being caught and the problems it will cause him. Sometime he takes too many chances.

My friend told me this is his choice to cheat. Why blame yourself if he was happy he wouldn't be with you.He finds happiness with you. I know its wrong. but he is making the choice.

blaming others so you can justify your dirt is wickedness
absolutly anything can be twisted for someonelses corrupt purpose, just look at cops who plant drugs on peaple to take em in so they can get a shiny metal or officer of the month

I've never cheated but have considered it, if the man I love would tell me he loves me and wanted to see me. It's wrong, we both know it, that's why he holds back. I've fought my feelings for him for over 10 years, and I'm trying now to just be friends with him, pushing aside my feelings. I have to keep him in my life. Really think about the consequences before you cross that line.

I think there is no excuse for cheating, except selfish reasons, And most of the time they are so sorry and want a second change, and guess what most of the time they will cheat again.