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woodbutcher7 woodbutcher7 36-40, M 10 Answers Nov 28, 2012 in Community

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It would be my duty to tell them, even if it strained the relationship.

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I would tell them. Several months ago a dear friend of mine who had serious health issues would buy someone who was living with a friend of hers alcohol and cigarette about once or month or so.. She was defensive about it when I said that she shouldn't be buying this for him. Let him pay for his cigarettes and alcohol, I told her. She thought I was being judgmental about the situation. This dear friend had very little money for herself. When she told him she could no longer do this for him, he wasn't so chummy with her after that.



When my friend became very ill, she realized that she'd been taken advantage of by this person who told her that he would be there for her. He wasn't there for her when she got very sick. He might have visited her one time when she was ill. When she died, he was nowhere to be found at her funeral or celebration of life get together. He probably had an excuse for not coming.

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that's sad i'm sure she had the right intentions when she was helping that person

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Be prepared to lose both of them.

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why is that

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Well maybe, just maybe, the person being taken advantage of knows it, only won't admit it. You are telling that person something they don't want to hear. And, the person doing the taking advantage of, doesn't want you ruining his/her thing. So, tread carefully here. Often the messenger is the one who is sacrificed.

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well i'm the person being taken advantage of and people know this and choose to be quite for whatever reason

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Sorry to hear that.

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I've always kept quiet even if I knew.



If it would happen again, I think I would end up saying it.

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if i thought they'd listen to me

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why wouldn't they listen to you.

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if they really trusted the person who was taking advantage of them, they might resent my interference

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i can understand that but but still should hear you out

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Am I the one taking advantage of them? If yes, then no.

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what the hell is that supposed to mean?

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OK, I guess I should type s l o w e r.
What didn't you understand?

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tell them and make them listen

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