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http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-Social-Anxiety/2822261 I kinda am in that situation, that I want someone to move out. Is it mean of me if I ask her to leave? I want us to be friends, and I don't wanna end up hating her, so I think getting her to move out is best for my own sake and our friendship. I wanna live alone. Else I end up hating her.
Barlong Barlong 22-25, F 9 Answers Dec 26, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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Just tell her that you live alone because you need space to be alone, and though you have been willing to share your space with her for a little, that you need your space back. If she can understand that it is what you need for your health, then she should be quite fine with that. I know what it's like to need your own space. You can be clear about what you need and that's not being mean. That's being honest. Good luck, dear

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I am worried it might hurt her though, and I kinda worry if she will actually look for a place to live and if she finds anything. ... I really hope it's not mean and that she wont hate me or anything though. :/

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Just follow your heart, but just remember your own needs are your responsibilty.

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Tell her to move out, as a friend she should understand your intentions and know you're not being mean about it

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... perhaps a test of friendship in that case.

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You could look at it that way

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I am the same and think its ok as long as you give her time to find her own place

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That's my intentions. :3

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a little disapointed, but would leave

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So you'd respect it?

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I have been on both side. To save from being aurgumental. I would not want to be somewhere where I am not wanted as a friend or respected as a person. I would ask how much time, can I used the money for rent this next month to relocate and just begin to find some another place to live

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She is getting 48 000 kr, she still can afford to pay the little I ask of her which is only food and the power bill on around 600 kr. O_o Totally, it's around 3000, that's why I will ask her after new year.

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Well, not sure of the money exchange, Yet Its sound like she has enough money. So ask politely and tell her you would like to be alone for a while. I hope she'd understand

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I hope so as well, though I think she might take it bad.. O_o

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It only cost around 5000 for one to live alone, my place cost me around 7200 in the month... I am going to move though, but I wanna do so alone. O_o

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She will probaly take it personal, However, when you explain honestly why. This should disarm her, and I Hope She Understand Why???

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So I should tell her honestly I fear hating her if we continue to live together, that I am not certain if she is reliable in bills issues, that I am the only one putting any efforts into trying to find a place and all and that I feel she does not care at all?

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stick to your plans, perhaps she will understand would like to live by herself as well

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Just give her a 30 day written notice to vacate (leave). You do not just say live, it is against the law. I hope you had a written rental agreement so it is easier to write the notice. If not, write one now with her, wait 30 days and give her a notice to vacate. In the rental agreement it should say reasons for making a person leave, like fighting, damage to property, nuisance, etc.

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... actually she does not have any contract.
it's against no law to ask her to leave. Though I will give her a month, maybe two to find her own place.

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There is a law against vacate. she has rights against you.

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There is no contract, and she is basically just crashing. No rights. She have places to stay even so beside my place. NO RIGHTS AGAINST ME!!! I am not renting out space to her, just letting her stay.

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That's bad :( You want her to move just like that??Why at the first place did you invite her to live with you??<br />
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She'll get hurt very badly if you tell her I want you to move.<br />
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If I was in her situation and someone asked me to move I would be very sad and my feelings would be hurt and I'll feel offended.<br />
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But you really need to say something convincing and be careful with what you are going to say.

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I just can't take it anymore. I did not invite her to live with me, I just let her stay because she had no other place to go. If I let her stay, what about my life? She did not really consider the impact on my life. :/

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But she has no place to go :( Will you be able to take that???
I mean isn't it hard to tell her to go especially that she's homeless.
In my opinion it's better to give her a few weeks so that she can find another place to live in. And tell her in a nice way that you think it's better for both of you to live each one alone.
Ask her when she's going to find an apartment so that you can go maybe for a trip then at least she will think you are going to be away and you have to keep your house safe.

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I was going to give her one or two months. She is not homeless, she got plenty of places to crash. Sigh...

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THEN END IT AND TELL HER.BUT BE NICE.

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I always try to, but is there really a nice way to say "I can't take living with you anymore, please move before February ends"?

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Perhaps you should be the one to move then. You still would be financially liable...and I assume you guys moved in for finances...so it might be better just to wait out the lease and look for cheaper housing.

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She just crashed at my place, I am the one renting there. it's no house but a room with everything in one place, around the size of a large car is the size of my place.

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If it's that then just tell her that you think it's better for you both to live each one alone.

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oh... someone crashing is not a roommate. That's usually temporary. Have you had any conversations about her timeline for leaving?

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We were going to find a place to live together after new year, though she has not even tried looking for a place. I feel like the one doing all the work... I don't wanna be the one with all the responsibilities at all, if there is something to pay and such. I have mentioned before many times "can't you move to your relatives" or something, but she says she can't.

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That's bad especially that your not even her husband!!! I mean you are not committed to her.
Just get straight to the point and tell her what's in your heart it's very stressful to keep on hiding that from her telling her the truth will be better for you cause if you don't you might hurt her more especially that she might notice that you're annoyed with her being around.

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She has noticed already, and she knows why.
So after new year, I am really going to ask her to move, she will survive, but I don't wanna bear her responsibilities.

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Well, it'll be better this way then after you had signed a lease to live with her.

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Probably

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