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HalfFull1 HalfFull1 41-45, M 20 Answers Apr 10, 2011

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I just broke up with a guy I met for only 2 months and everything was great. We planed to get away for the weekened togeter. Next day he just changed his mind and said he is not ready in relationship. I was so much in love with him and I still miss him so much. I can't handle it that made me mad. <br />
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He tried to get back with me but I told him I get back to my ex boyfriend.

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If you truly love them you would wait for as long as it took for them to be comfortable. Loving someone should have no end. You don't have to date them. You just have to be there and show your love. That's all you can do.

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You're the only one with the answer!! No one can tell you how long to wait or what path is right for you. Now waiting doesn't mean you stop living - or at least I hope it doesn't for your sake. I've been waiting for a year - doesn't mean I stopped living. If you truly love her you'll wait....and love her where she is. Love is patient among other things. If you can't wait, then she's not the one for you - and that's okay too!!!

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Next

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I just got out of that situation myself. Do not get involved with someone who has any sort of wall up. Do yourself a favor and move on to someone who won't waste your time. If you let them go and they come back to you then it was meant to be. Otherwise they are taking you for granted and will walk all over you. Hope this helps.

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Wow, so true. I guess that I want this so badly that I am willing to give her a little slack. We are both 41 and I really don't want to wait too long to figure out if this is the one or not....I will continue to be hopeful for as long as I can.<br /><br />Thanks!

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i feel same way... i dnt mind waitng for the wall to come down...just dont avoid me the problem when we have it. I question if this is really what she wants

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Are they not ready for ANY type of relationship? Is this their way of not being direct and not wanting to hurt your feelings? I myself waited for months, in the meantime worked on myself, kept doing the things I was doing, which was a lot of volunteer work. I prayed and asked God to 'hit him in the head with a hammer and wake him up!' It was hard waiting though as I recall, and awfully hard at times to focus on what was in front of me to do sometimes. I did force myself to stay busy and quite honestly did not think he would call again. He was dating someone else in the meantime, an old ex who had shown up 4 years after she had left him-I thought I would have to wait 6 months, I knew her and as a woman knew this was a rebound dating thing for her since she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship-she was using him as 'buffer-after they went out 3 times she just never showed up again and moved on to dating other men we all knew. I am with him now and have been for about 8 years, but really, I think I am more ready for a relationship than he is still or ever will be. You can wait until they are ready if you choose, or you can just live your life and still be open to someone else who may be ready. At the some time you are waiting for him, someone you may not even know yet is waiting for you. I wish you luck, I know it is a difficult place to be in. In hind sight I would've waited a bit longer instead just running right back. Now I need to learn how to stop making him the focus and go back to doing more of the things I was before that were important to me, I need to take the advice I would give you and that is to focus on important things in your life as you wait if that is the choice you make.

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She is a single Mom with a hectic schedule. She doesn't think she can handle a relationship (has not been in one for more than 3 years) however wants to keep the status quo between us. She says she has feelings for me but is afraid of getting too involved in the event that my heart gets broken.

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This is not an awnser but I have a question..... I'm 14 and in 8th grade I am in middle school and my crush is in 7th grade I am going to be in high school next year and he will be in 8th and he is not ready for love yet all of our friends think that we will be a perfect couple but hes not ready we talk but not very much anyways I love him but hes not ready for it yet. What should I do.

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I have a Question here..... If you love him and you guys talk all the time and chat n stuff but he one day you ask whats are status and he's like I don't know I'm not ready for a relationship and I was like okay fine then I'll wait but nw we don't talk the same way we used to he is always busy and on bbm he keeps on writing girls names next to his and talking to other girls the thing is that I get really keloid but I never told him that I am.but he never showed me that he gets jealous I'm confused should I move on ?! Or should I wait and talk to him about it I REALLY LOVE HIM!!! Help me out please:(<br />
 

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I was with this guy for 2 years and half broke up two weeks ago. He said he wasnt happy with me anymore it was bc i have low self esteem and i have depression, so it brought him down. we was very in love talked about marriage, have a kitten together (our baby lol ). He said i need to work on me and he needs to work on him bc hes so stressed about stuff. I just know in the deep of my gut that hes my soulmate. I asked him if we will ever get back together in the future, he said he doesnt know what will happen in the future if we will or not. Now his manager is talking to him, going through leaving her husband and starting new with her kids. they are talking to get to know each other like they are going to date. he told me he liked her. he hasnt talked to me until yesterday bc his grandma died. he said he will always love me and i was his first real real love. idk what to do. i want to keep hope that he will come back bc i know hes the one for me. but i just dont know bc hes answer was this is the best for us. hes happy and i will too. bc he said i need to work on me and i am, i need too. but idk when or if he will come back and it killing me bc i dont want to wait for ever and one day i pour my heart out again and he rejects me. he said he doesnt know what the future holds. but i just hope he doesnt fall in love with her and fall out of love with me. idk if i should keep hope or not.

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I have been married to her for 16 years so far...<br />
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she's still not ready.

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you dont wait ever

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till you reach your limit, then politely say you can't wait any longer, and try to part friendly, out of courtesy to the other.

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YOU DON'T!...Move on!

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if they not ready then it time for you to move on and get some body elesin your life ?

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Ultimately it comes down to this..... Don't settle. Live your life. If it's the right person there are no questions you just know.

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Depends on a lot for factors: how old they are, how old you are, how important the relationship is to you, how important having a relationship is to you, etc.<br />
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Certainly, if the person you were with was young, just going into college, just starting out on a career, you might very well want to wait a couple of years at least, maybe longer, to allow them to settle to what they are doing: growing up, getting qualifications, getting established in a job, before the big upheaval of a committed relationship (and by committed I mean marriage, moving in together etc, not just being with you.)<br />
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If that person means an awful lot to you and you would not loose out immensely by waiting a little longer, then that must also come into your calculations, however, sometimes and especially with women, waiting longer for a committed relationship may mean that children become less and less likely, so you need also to weigh up how much a committed relationship mean to you. If for instance, you see your life in terms of marriage and parenthood, and your partner not only does not yet, but is unlikely to do so in the future, you will have to make some hard choices as to what is important to you.<br />
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If however, you are talking about you wanting to go out with them and they saying they are not ready for a relationship as a way of not going out with you, then this is a different matter. If they have been badly hurt by someone, you need to give them time to grieve over this bad relationship. Any relationship that is forced into being on the rebound is likely to prove problematic. If your partner has experienced the death of a previous loved one, it may take a long time to come to terms with this. (Three years or more is not uncommon for the mourning process,) You must decide whether you can wait this long.<br />
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If however there is nothing like this, you really do need to ask yourself why they cannot go out with you. Perhaps it is a kinder way of telling you they do not feel that way about you, or perhaps they are basically serially monogamous and do not want to be tied down to one partner, or they may wish to be promiscuous and have a number of relationships rather than just one.<br />
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If you decide that you really want to have a relationship and the other person does not, but you want to give them a final chance to change their mind, and are willing to risk loosing them in the hope of gaining such a relationship, then you DO need to withdraw. Cut the time you spend with them by approximately 75% and make sure that the time you do spend with them is in the company of others and is on a friendly basis. Also make a point of seeing other people on the same basis, though if you want a chance of reconciliation, do not see others on a sexual basis until you know all hope for the initial relationship is over. This is often sufficient to concentrate the other person's mind and remind them what they are loosing. If it is not in your case, move on.<br />
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Good luck and all the best,

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That depends on you. I have been woth my husband ten yrs and he is still not ready for a relationship lol. No but that's real. I married him cuz I love and in hopes to get him there. He is still doing what he does but not as much anymore. But that is me and what I can handle. Everyone is different

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lifelong

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