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GoodGuy40 GoodGuy40 36-40, M 12 Answers Dec 31, 2013 in Community

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We make compromises.

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Compromise and communication are the two most important things in a relationship. Great answer

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I say thank you for being honest and I'll make sure I don't do it again!

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Wish it was that easy:/

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There is always a way! What is the issue?

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She gets upset it is all screams and yelling. Can't calmly talk about anything. Scares my kids.

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Have you told her this? If you tell her she might calm down, if not you just have to take her to another room where the kids won't be able to hear all the shouting etc How about writing about the problems and she writes back so she dont have to yell or scream?

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Have told her about my issue and she refuses to listen and says she won't change for anyone. I have to do what's right for my kids. Me and her haven't been together very long and I really care for her but my kids have to come first.

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Well in that case if she's being like that then she can leave and if she really cares then she'll come back and respect you and your kids!

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That's what I think but was seeing what everyone else thought.

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Thanks

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You're welcome! No point holding onto someone that makes life difficult and have to put the kids first!

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I agree no matter how bad it hurts I have to take care of my kids.

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i'm gonna miss them :D

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I'm afraid you are right.

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I would try to find out what it was and how I can amend it. I would persist with this if I did not want to lose this person.

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Great answer as always from you.
Problem is it causes issues with my kids, they don't want to be around her. I really love her but can't be with her because my kids have to come first.

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Then you have to work with your priorities and deal with the consequences of it. Unfortunately we cannot get everything we want.

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That is the reality of my situation she refuses to see what I'm going through. Your answers and questions are great as always.

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Here is the thing. Even if deep down she understands, she would be in denial because what the situation means for her. It must be hurting her. And that clouds her ability to tell you what she sees it is for you. (Thank you for your compliment.:) )

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Your welcome your answers have always been right on. And this one has helped a lot. From my phone I can't pick best answer but you got this one

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I am just happy something I said has helped someone. :) Take care.

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I think you may be onto something about the denial. And I know she is hurting because we have talked about that a lot. But she says she is not changing for anybody. Gives me no choice. I only get my kids a couple days a week. I don't want to lose the little time I get.

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Fair enough. Tough situation but I think you've made your choice. Best wishes. :)

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Thanks your answer has helped me understand what she is feeling.

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I take his opinion into consideration, tell him what I was thinking at the time if it's relevant, and try not to do things that bother him if at all possible. He does the same, we communicate, it all works out.

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Did that and she doesn't see she is upsetting my kids and doesn't care.

Communication is the key to everything.

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That's really hard. You know what your priorities are and what your deal-breakers are. Does she?

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She does now. Just told her. And she is very upset. She knows what she does upsets me and that I'm always gonna do what's best for my kids. But she keep saying that she's not changing for no one. I have no choice but let her go.

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I'm sorry it had to come to that. You're doing the right thing for your family unit. Compromising a bit for someone you love doesn't mean changing who you are.

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I don't want her to change but I can't stay with her. If she wats to be like that I hope she finds someone to make her happy.

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Stop doing that thing.

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It's not me, but I agree with you totally.

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Depends, on a lot of factors, but lets say you know what you did is wrong apologies and talk about it



If your not right or wrong talk about it



If its something that shouldn't even bother them have a serious talk

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well I would listen and see...what do YOU do ? put earmuffs on ?

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if it's a part of me that i embrace and value...they'll just have to accept it, because it isn't likely to change.

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