Post
I recently shared some things with a girlfriend of mine and ask that she keep it between us. Then next time I was at her house, her husband brought up what I had shared. I was flabbergasted. I looked at my friend and said, "that was between us." Her reply was, "Well, he is my husband you know." It made me lose some trust in her. Is this wrong? I probably shouldn't have said anything if I didn't want what I shared to go any further. Now I'm really guarded on what I share with here. Sometimes you'd like to have a confident that you know you can trust without it going anywhere else.. What are your thoughts?
SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 8 Answers Jul 30, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

I personally believe there should be no secrets between spouses. BUT your friend should have told you her stance on this before she allowed you to confide in her.

Best Answer

I agree and also though somethings are kind of personal that maybe you don't want shared period with someone else's spouse.

Best Answer

I learned the hard way. You are right.

Best Answer

there are no secrets between spouses.............are there?.....................lol

Best Answer

well this wasn't something that concerned him...it was purely personal to me. So it wasn't a secret that he should have been privy to if you know what I mean.

Best Answer

I generally think that keeping secrets from a spouse can be destructive, *most* of the time. However, in this instance, it sounds like you shared something very personal with your friend, something that her husband didn't *need* to know, and something that had absolutely no bearing on him or their marriage. As such, I don't think your friend should have told her husband.<br />
<br />
Now if your friend had stayed true to her word and *not* blabbed the information, one could look at her actions in one of two ways:<br />
<br />
1) She honored your request that the information be kept private and confidential, or:<br />
2) She deliberately withheld information from her husband, and is thus "keeping secrets"<br />
<br />
I see #1 as the much more positive interpretation, and that's how I would've viewed it had she kept quiet.<br />
<br />
All in all, it's really unfortunate that she violated your trust like that, and I wouldn't blame you at all if you felt like you had to restrict what you tell her from now on.

Best Answer

Thanks for understanding and interpreting it as it is. You are right, I won't be sharing with her like I used to..she now has me feeling like all that I share goes through him as well. If I wanted a tea party of 3, I would have invited him. Ugh!

Best Answer

No how could you trust them again?They proved they will not keep it to themselves.Who is the hubby going to tell now?Time to find a new confidant.That sucks she mistreated you that way.

Best Answer

It does suck :(...guess i go back to being my own best friend. At least I won't be able to betray my own confidence...that would be weird. lol

Best Answer

wow do you really think people keep secrets at you age

Best Answer

Not secrets but confidences. Somethings you just don't want to share with certain people, her hubby being one of them. So, yes lots of people keep confidences...she just proved she is not one that can.

Best Answer

Related Questions