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If you want to leave your marriage but are not, do you think it's because you are afraid of being alone?

Posted 5 months ago
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Leaving a marriage is often so much harder than what you would initially think.

Marriage ties together so many aspects of your life and family and people that it's difficult and painful to break -- even if you and your spouse are no longer happy in your union.

Your family, your partner's family, any children you have acquired, friends, mutual friends, coworkers... so many people affected and so many people to deal with.

Not to mention financial issues, all those messy little details that are messier the longer you have been together.

There is also fear of loneliness, fear that you have to settle and suck it up or be alone forever.

So many reasons, this is a very complicated issue and I think is why so many people stay in very unhappy marriages that wouldn't be in otherwise. It's too hard to end!
Posted 5 months ago

Other 9 Answers to If you want to leave your marriage but are not, do you think it's because you are afraid of being alone?


Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 10:55PM
When I was in bad marriages that I wanted to leave, but hadn't yet - it was because I needed to get myself together financially so I could leave and be OK on my own with my kids.
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 5:26PM
It's a fear of failure.. you'll be solo.Women fear money issues, raising kids, dating or not dating. It all works out and everyone survives. Think of great changes, not scary changes.
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 10:56PM
There are a lot of reasons you may not leave but only you know them. Lonliness is one. Fear of failure, another. Can you pay your own way? Do you know how wonderful it is to be alone and happy other than married and miserable? I woke up one day and said that's enough. No more misery. I made it on my own and you can too. You can always make money and find a place to stay but living your whole life unhappy is a waste of a precious gift.
If your afraid of what your spouse may do, if he is abusive, there are people out there who can help you. My mom was afraid of this man that she was dating but after a while she realized that she was already dead if she was afraid to live because of him. She quite caring what he thought and made it on her own. If he had killed her? She wouldn't be controlled by him anymore, at least. Crazy way to look at it, but I feel the same way. It's your life. You have every right to live it the way you want to. I hope this helps. Good luck
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 3:45PM
You know the answer to this question. You know if you are afraid and if you are..why? Are you afraid of being lonely or afraid of not being able to pay the bills?
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 4:17PM
No... it's because you are unaware of the support systems out there
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 5:14PM
I could very well be wrong but I don't think its so much the being alone that is scary but perhaps the fear that its a huge world out there and maybe when you leave you will find it was not so bad where you were. For a LOT of people even an unstable or rotten marriage is still a security blanket in a way...its not always easy to give that up.
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Posted Jun 13th, 2009 at 11:01PM
Sometimes I think that there are relationships out there that have redeeming qualities and honest -to-goodness love in them, but where the people have just gotten into some bad habits...disrespect, jealousy, whatever...so you get frustrated and bitter and want to leave at times, but don't because you have hope that things will be ok again. Which they never will be unless they're confronted properly, but that's a whole other question... :) The thing to remember is that those things will get worse if they aren't worked on with love and understanding...
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Posted Jun 14th, 2009 at 5:48AM
No, it is because there are lots of good things in marriage that we need to keep. Nowadays, not many people are lucky enough to enter the wedlock. The family is sacred. When one person makes some sacrifice for it, usually the other one will follow.
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Posted Jun 14th, 2009 at 9:04AM
There are so many reasons... I'm not married but I have been in a relationship, and I really wanted to leave but something stopped me.
The fear of being alone was somewhere in the equation, but it wasn't what I was thinking about. I didn't have to think about my kids or my financial situation because we were never married or had any kids.
I did not love him, and sometimes I hated him, but deep down he was a friend. And I knew he would be horribly upset if I left him. I could not bear the thought of hurting him. Also, I felt that I had no real reason to be leaving. He seemed to be perfectly content with our relationship, so what could be my reason to not feeling the same way? He would never understand and I would never be able to explain to him why exactly I was doing that.
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