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psychicprayer psychicprayer 36-40 42 Answers Jan 6, 2013 in Family Struggles

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only if the abuse short-circuits your ability to empathize. people who've suffered abuse tend to either vow never to repeat it and study up on how to avoid it and raise children right, or they avoid having children at all, or they become abusers because they've failed to process the lessons of their past and are stuck trying to reclaim their own power by taking on the role of the abuser. I'd like to think that most end up in the first two categories, but I don't really know...

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smart

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Very deep.
I'm the one who avoids relationships...
I just know that I won't make a good parent...so I'll just mind my own life.
Beside I fear men so...yeah

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You're young enough that you really don't know what the future will hold for you in that department. In my own case, I was over 40 before I had a kid. I also feared that I wouldn't make a good parent, yet now people marvel at the closeness of my relationship with my daughter. I slip once in awhile and yell or overreact, but I've never struck her, and for the most part I'm the dad I wish I'd had...

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thats beautiful sumnerkagan and hes right miss knight you have plenty of time to correct things get counselling etc ..you will not always fear men ..i used to hate men now i do not but please give your life time before you make decisions about being a parent..i bet you do become one and a good one ..xx

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1 More Response

I broke the cycle

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me too :D

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I know from my experience that it happens in many cases<br />
it depends on the ability of self-reflection and the mental stability in general<br />
I know a person who acted the same way like her mother, but after some years she noticed what she'd done to her children and changed her behaviour

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from your experience? then your experience is limited. the majority are horrified at what happened to them.... and would NEVER inflict that horror upon another. respect, from robbie

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thankyou robbie x

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of course my expeience is limited;-D
but I definitely know some people who acted nearly the same way like their parents
if all people could controle their behaviour, there were no criminals, no mental sick people, no addicts...

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No. I was abused by my parents, and I will never do the same thing to my children, because I don't want them damaged and I would never inflict harm on a child. You don't have to beat your kids or call them names to discipline. Take a toy away, take away TV priviledges, something else. If you're smart enough, you break the cycle yourself.

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well here we go...kool.....Once this therapist told me since I was very abused as a child that statistics say yes but hear me that's not always true cause 1. if you are a good parent and don't believe in hitting, just put it like this how would you feel if someone or your parents either or hit you, would you like it? the answer would NO, so if you wouldn't like getting hit why would you hit a child or anyone in that case, Right??<br />
When I was a child i was very abused and almost killed by my stepfather and my mother did nothing but stood there and watched him do it, that was crap. Well I have 3 beautiful children 2 girls and 1 boy and I never hit them cause I know if I hit once i won't stop and that's a fact..I told my therapist that I wouldn't hit my children ever, and he asked why even though the statistics say I would..I told him he I had the power not to hit and the abuse stops with me right here and now and that's a promise i always kept to myself really....I don't believe you don't have to hit a child to get them to mind and that's a fact really...Take the most thing they like the most out of everything and keep it for 1 week till they behave or take something else till they will learn to behave right?? I hope I make alot of sense on this subject thanks for taking this moment to read what I have to say on this subject thanks again..

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am in the process of writing a book about my family and the child abuse, ******, neglect and other horrible things that happened. some of the victims' will never find a peace in mind because they still fear their abusers from the grave. Is it really possible that someone can fear their abusers, who are deceased? The molesting and abuse need to stop, but know one seems to be ending the curse! This bad and outrageous behavior has been happening for generations , I've been told, but I witness some on my own. I have relative, who are completely out of their minds, all because they are to scared to confront what happen to them so they can heal and move on in life. No one should have to live the rest of their days on earth, traumatized. How can people beat their children like slaves? I am writing my true story to reach out to other victims, and praying that they will walk out the darkness, and tell their stories and stop being afraid. I am not very good with writing a book so I am asking for help from anyone who is wiling to assist me in wording my book correct and getting it published with the right publisher.

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I'm very good at writing as you can see but what I write is so very true not fiction all facts I was molested, rapped, beaten, and almost killed by my stepfather...Then it happen to my kids and i don't know how to heal from that pain my oldest girl came home to me at the age of 14 and pregnant with her father's kid...how can a mother heal from that kind of pain, I relive it in my head everyday...the hurt never goes away...

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My father and step-mother were beyond abusive both physically and mentally. I WILL NEVER EVER EVER HURT MY DAUGHTER THAT WAY OR IN ANY OTHER WAY INTENTIONALLY, NOT EVER!!!!!!!!!

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No. A million times over.

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Means that you never grew up.

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no I don't abuse my kid and I suffered through horrible abuse

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Yes, not abuse as in being beaten, but,my exwife said she heard her parents fighting alot of the time. She brought this into our marriage

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I Hate to think so, but I feel it does. I am so Determined Not to Abuse my child, (I say "Child" because I'd Adopt a baby girl as my Niece if not my daughter,) Physically, Mentally, or Especially Emotionally-as That does the most Damage seeing as it's to the Heart/Spirit.

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No.

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NO, IT IS NOT THE DETERMIANATION. It depends ont he abuse, the age and other such, but to say that I will abuse my child because a gang of perverts destroyed me is as far from the truth as good from evil.

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No, but it is a fact that many people who do abuse were themselves abused at one time or another.

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It will certainly determine that u will have 2 make a constant effort not 2.

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no no no no no <br />
<br />
............................... N O !<br />
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that is a lie.<br />
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some abusers have been themselves abused. that is different.<br />
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if you or someone you know fears becoming an abuser.... there is help<br />
<br />
you only have to ask for it.<br />
<br />
everyone has the choice NOT to be an abuser.<br />
<br />
with respect, from robbie

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No. But the chances are increased.

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YES.. cause it a psychological disease that is contagious.

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I have heard that. It is one reason why I decided to never have children.<br />
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I was violently abused, not sexually. I remember looking at my father one day when I was very young and thinking if that's what it means to be a father I never want to be one.<br />
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And after being around my parents' miserable marriage for 18 years I'm not surprised I've never married.

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Some. Times It happens but mostly it don't thank god

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