Depends on the child's age and the type of hitting, I think. There's a big difference between a smack on the bottom and a punch in the face.

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You need a plan. Just like you need a plan to prevent yourself from being assaulted at night- My plan- for better or worse- is to (if it ever happens) is to say excuse me- we all get overwhelmed. Do you want to take a moment to collect yourself (while I try to step in between them) and I'll stay here with your children. My youngest has gotten me crazy too (Pretend you understand and its ok if they just stop now- just to talk them down) and at that point I am committed- I am willing to get hit, call for help, 911- or whatever if the parent won't stop- The bigger issue is what happens next- did you just earn this kid the beating of his life when they get home; do you call CPS-I think of this $#!t every day- But please at least get a short term plan- Thank you for this Q- this is a very important dialog

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I still contend that an truly abusive parent would just remove the kid from the situation, and as soon as you are not around, abuse them worse out of anger that you interfered. I was taught during adoption and foster parent classes that you get a professional involved and make a report if you feel there is abuse. I have certainly done that MANY times.

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I know-That is a great plan

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Depends what kind of hitting. I believe in smacking your kid every once in a while if he deserves it, but abuse is different.

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ANY HITTING IS ABUSE !

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I disagree. I was smacked when I misbehaved as a child, but I'm fine. Possibly better because of it. Some kids grow up spoiled if they aren't punished in any way.

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that's b.s.

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meh, that's your opinion. It's different if a kid is beaten for no real reason and to the point where there are bruises and/or bleeding. A couple smacks and then stopping can teach a lesson.

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well i was physically emotionally and sexually abused
and iam not!

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Exactly my point. Abuse is different.

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I think that the most important thing a parent can do is to teach their kids how to deal with life. They look at you as an example of how they will deal with problems. There is no adult that you can slap if you dont like them. So, I am just thinking out loud here, if you cannot hit adults and you have to deal with them another way, what is the best way to teach your kids by example? By hitting, or by using other tools?

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whatizmu, I agree. But until they've reached a certain age, it's difficult to let them know they've done something wrong other than spanking them. I personally wouldn't be able to yell at my kid if I had one.

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It is harder to communicate to a kiddo the smaller they are, it is true. Timeout worked well with our kids.

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It is a no win situation no matter what. If you believe smacking a kid is abuse and you interfere, the parent will just wait till later when they have the kid in private and kill them even worse to retaliate. I also doubt the police will do anything unless the smacking, hitting, etc is REALLY BAD.

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No. Not my kid. Not my business.

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aw well i dont know, cant stand seeing abuse,i would have to do
something.

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It is against the law to hit kids in Canada, the parent would be charged. Besides that, when you hit a child you are just taking your frustration out on them...there are other ways to punish the child without hitting them. As for the 18 yr. old that kicked her mother, it's obvious that her mother spoiled her and allowed that behavior all her life...she know she can get away with it. I was hit growing up, that's what everyone did then, but it doesn't make it right. It is very bad for the self-esteem to be hit, especially in public.

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YES i agree and i feel the circle will carry on if not stopped.

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This actually happened at a big box store. I was with my child and I could hear this woman screaming at the top of her lungs at her child. It was ten minutes or so.gone by till it was apparent she was 20'000ft away at the other corner. When I eventually crossed paths while shopping she was hitting her little boy screaming, "YOU DON'T HIT"! I came over and gently said, "you think he may he confused via your message"? She broke down crying. And left the store and her shopping efforts still in cart. My child and I had a long discussion about hitting and that adults make mistakes too.

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i understand completely, thanks :)

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interjecting into someone elses problem sounds like a way to get hit. None of my buisness unless the child is getting savagely beaten

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I DEF. agree with whatizmu....To not let it go I think might be good. It is VERY wrong for verbal abuse, and physical of course as well..esp. if the child is being hit in public , their self esteem will go down even more from humiliation. <br />
I would not go over and start any fighting as well, but to say something that will HELP them see the child is a. being a child, and b. an innocent little person in any regard....or maybe even tell them a technique.."I k now such and such is frustrating, but you know what I do to literally let out steam?...." But I would HATE seeing it nonetheless...=(

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Nope...I say bring back public flogging...

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aw really.

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absolutely....I saw an 8 yr old kid in the mall kick her mother in the leg because her mother refused to buy her something.......If that was my kid...whoa...Badda Bing Badda Boom...2 shots in the head and 1 kick in the arse.....lesson over.

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i can see your point there,but i think part of your answer rather
relates to the point made by toistory (above)

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If it was like real hitting i would, but not if it was just a tap. I don't believe in corporal punishment, but I know a lot of parents do.

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Have you ever seen anyone hit their kid NOT in ander - it's always in anger and frustration

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i think taking items away from children ie computers(facebook)
and Xbox, is far more the best way to chastize.
i mean NO FACE BOOK !...ARRR

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Babz, I meant not hitting hard. I don't think I could get involved there, but if they were doing it hard i defo would

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I agree :-)

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Yes, but the how, oh the how, is sooo important.<br />
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I would be careful not to do it in anger, not to do it in a way that will cause them to take out more anger on the child when you are not there. I would try very hard to diffuse the situation and be of true help.<br />
<br />
Isn't it interesting that the only people that it is "ok" to hit in anger are the smallest and weakest people?

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i see where you are coming from, but in my opinion
if they hit the child at anytime they will do it again anywhere,
and in the uk its against the law, i would try to get as many witnesses as i could who where willing to help me, then report it.

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Sounds right to me. I think the law is different depending upon where you live.

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BUT THE PAIN IS NEVER ENDING...

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Have you ever seen anyone hit their kid NOT in ander - it's always in anger and frustration

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