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If your friend didn't leave water for their dogs in their crates, how would you word your response to encourage them to?

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Asked By: BiForce 26-30  5 months ago

Same scenario as B4 but the question is what do I SAY to make her see that she is wrong. Instead of just reporting her and risking her dogs getting euthanized and ruining our friendship. This is truly someone that loves her dogs but she seems to think her dogs would break their water bowl and swallow the pieces and kill themselves, and I have offered to buy her quality water bowls and she gets defensive. She seems to have given up on progressing her dogs behavior, and I feel like whatever I say just ****** her off instead of inspiring her.

see this question for details in the main question, and my responses to EP users who tried to help me come up with what to do: EP Link

And thank you Cholin28 and lostinchicago for your helpful thoughts and responses thus far. Thank you for taking the same to really ponder over this.

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8 Answers to "If your friend didn't leave water for their dogs in their crates, how would you word your response to encourage them to?"

  1. fragments - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by fragments Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:26PM

    I'm guessing that she has pit pulls right? Usually those are the dogs that one would have immediately euthanized when reported to ASPCA.

    If this girl cares about the dogs she will either accept people helping her or if she will not do anything else then she NEEDS to be reported. Doesn't matter if she is a friend or not. IF those dogs aren't being taken care of properly then she doesn't deserve to have them.

    The last resort is you need to give her an ultimatum. Neglect is neglect and if she won't accept help from you or anyone else then it is out of your hands and it would be best to turn the situation over to the proper authorities. Did you know that you too could get into trouble for having this information and not reporting it?

    I had a guy friend who got fined and jailed for two weeks for not reporting that his friend was neglecting his animals. Not trying to scare you just letting you know that they can involve you too.

    Like (2)

  2. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:59PM

    yeah, you are right. I sent her a message and I hope she responds positively.

    Like (1)

  3. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 2:19PM

    she did not, and now if I say something to the authorities, i think she may seek revenge on me... I am at a loss to know what to do now.

    Like (1)

    4 more replies
  4. mrmoose1947 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by mrmoose1947 Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:20PM

    I cannot think of a way to talk with her. The dogs are in danger so you have a choice, save the animals by reporting the abuse or watch them die, really simple, you know what to do.

    Like (2)

  5. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by SpiritOfTheRabbit Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:16PM

    "Listen, I understand that you are worried about your dogs' safety and you don't want them to chew their bowls and hurt themselves. But I'm pretty concerned about the safety of their health from not having water for long periods of time. It can cause dehydration and kidney issues. I would like to buy you some quality stainless steel water bowls so that both you, me, and the dogs can reach a happy ending. You're my friend and I want to do that for you."

    If she still doesn't comply, do what's right and call the authorities. Keeping a dog away from water for a long time over and over will have harmful effects on the animals' health, and you wouldn't want to condone that.

    Like (2)

  6. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:26PM

    THANK YOU! That sounds like a great way to respond to her! Thank you so much for coming up with the words I am struggling to find myself. You are awesome.

    Like (1)

  7. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by SpiritOfTheRabbit Dec 1st, 2012 at 1:27PM

    I hope it helps. :)

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  8. Darksideofme255 - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by Darksideofme255 Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:48PM

    When they came home I would suggest as the dogs lay their all dead maybe a tad bit of water would not have been such a bad idea

    Like (1)

  9. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:52PM

    she has been doing this for maybe a year plus, and they are not sick or dead yet, and she actually is one of those people that brings her dogs to the vet somewhat regularly over minor concerns. And if you look through other's answers, she is not the only one that does this.

    Like (1)

  10. Darksideofme255 - 56-60 years old - male

    Reply by Darksideofme255 Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:53PM

    trust no one with things you love if you do then you are the fool

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  11. winstonwelles - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by winstonwelles Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:40PM

    Easiest thing is probably just to convince her to have someone check on them in the middle of the day. Being left alone for 6 hours would at least be an improvement, especially if they have time to give them a walk. Ask her if there's anyone who'd be willing to do that; if she can't afford to pay them, a friend might do it, maybe someone who can't keep a dog themselves?

    She should really get them trained to the point she can leave them out of the crate, but I don't know how you can convince her of that if she's being so stubborn.

    A side effect of getting someone to check on them is, if they're a dog-lover themselves, she'll have a second person to tell her she's not treating them right.

    Like (1)

  12. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:48PM

    I have suggested a friend come by and check on things or find someone through a doggie walker service. She seemed resistant to this, but I could suggest it again. She doesn't have that many friends, especially nearby, and the ones she does have have babies, and can't go over to her house everyday. She also is fairly poor, and can't afford to pay for it, which to me shows she shouldn't have the dogs in the first place if she can't work these things out, but she's not a horrible person. One good thing is her brother may move to her area, and I'm sure all of them together could do better if they wanted to help each other out. They also are dog owners. I have tried to inspire her through my own training stories, but she winds up defensive... guess she knows what I am trying to do, and it ****** her off that I think she's not doing a good job. I would love to convince her to get someone else involved in their day care, but right now, it may not even be possible with her situation. Maybe in a month or so that will be different if her brother does move nearby.

    Like (1)

  13. winstonwelles - 22-25 years old - male

    Reply by winstonwelles Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:52PM

    Do you know her brother? You could talk to him about it, but if you don't know him yourself it would probably annoy her that you were going behind her back. It's tough to know what to do in a situation like this, it's like telling someone how to raise their kids.

    Like (1)

    3 more replies
  14. juicylucy69 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by juicylucy69 Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:21PM

    Give your dogs water or I will climb the fence and do it for you , you are not fit to have dogs you lazy man.

    Like (1)

  15. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:27PM

    I live hours away, so how do I encourage HER to change her mind.

    Like (1)

  16. jeanemae - 26-30 years old

    Posted by jeanemae Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:21PM

    You should just offer to go walk them. Lots of people don't put water in the dog crates because they have no way to get out and pee.

    Like (1)

  17. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:26PM

    I don't live nearby. But I know they have been left without water for half a day before, which I don't think any vet would say is okay.

    Like (1)

  18. jeanemae - 26-30 years old

    Reply by jeanemae Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:36PM

    That's pretty normal for crated animals. Many people leave their dogs in crates the entire time they are at work...and don't leave water. I don't think the dogs like it....but it's pretty common.

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  19. bobrido - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by bobrido Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:21PM

    I wouldn't worry about risking my friendship with such a person. I would end my friendship with any person that would choose to mistreat or otherwise fail to care for an animal. There would be no questions nor any hesitation in doing so.

    Like (1)

  20. BiForce - 26-30 years old

    Reply by BiForce Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:31PM

    It's not so black and white though and that's why I am asking for advice on what to say. Considering she doesn't think she is being abusive, and treats her dogs well when she is home, and adopted them because they are discriminated against breed, and worries about other people being abusive dog owners... how do I get her to see she is wrong in this circumstance?

    Like (1)

  21. bobrido - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by bobrido Dec 1st, 2012 at 12:35PM

    Well, if she's that concerned about how animals in general are treated, she should understand that any animal must have access to fresh water. It's that simple. If she can't understand such a simple concept, then I'd question whether she truly has the dogs' best interests in mind.

    Like (1)

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