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Let's assume your young and atractive at your prime and you're with someone you're dating someone you really like, you fall in love with them and when you try to go for the kill, hehe - they said "Stop. Only on our wedding night" :D Would you stay in a relationship and live in celibacy not knowing when and if at all you'll get married one day or would you be frustrated and say that it is one natural part of a relationship and if it's not there you will move on? Or would a simple HJ do the trick for 6 years for example :P IF even that, haha :D P.S. I am asking the opinion of women too! Want to get both perspectives!
nightowl007 nightowl007 22-25, M 11 Answers Feb 26 in Dating & Relationships

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Well, my boyfriend and I started off our relationship 4 1/2 years ago promising to wait until marriage knowing that we both were dating each other knowing we both wanted to get married eventually and hoping at the time that us dating would lead to us getting married (even though I was already married to a woman who also had a boyfriend of her own too). We made the promise to wait, because neither one of us wanted to make the relationship "just about the sex." I did not want another relationship like the ones I had been having with guys up until a year prior to meeting my current boyfriend. He was just scared because he had never had sex before. The most action he had gotten by the time I met him was a couple of slutty female "friends" getting handsy in their drunken stupors at various social occasions. Just enough to get him visibly turned on and embarrass him but not enough to do him any good. <br />
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However, I had let my previous relationships with guys become all about the sex (mostly just oral sex) because I was having difficulty being able to get off on my own (or with my wife using toys with me) and had a seemingly insatiable labido. Sucking guys off was getting me off. What I didn't know then that I do know now, is that that was the last time I'd actually have an off switch. The form of PGAD/PSAS (same things different name) that I and every other woman born into my mother's side of the family has... had hit me fully. I had told him when we first started dating about my past, and that I had just learned that I had this sex disorder, but that I still wanted to wait until we were married be fore we had sex. (I also made sure he knew my relationship with my wife).<br />
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We managed to last 3 months before the topic of sex or any kind of sexual activity came up again (between us, but not between my wife and I), but in that time being aroused 24/7 with not a moment's break from it and being unable to achieve ****** in those 3 months or in the 2 months prior to starting a relationship with my boyfriend, the pain had become too excruciatingly unbearable; and I could not hide my extreme arousal or the fact I was in this much pain, I was constantly in tears and unable to focus on anything else. At first we tried doctors and hospitals, sex therapists, real therapists... But they all either laughed me out of their office calling me "every man's dream" and questioning what there was to fix... or offered some very unprofessional assistance the type you'd expect to see in doctor office fantasy ****. After 3 months of that, my boyfriend took pity on me and decided to try his best to bring me to ****** anyway he could, and as many times as he could before we parted ways each time we saw each other in order to eliminate as much pain as possible for me without us actually having sex. Between the 6 months of failed attempts to get myself off (and the failed attempts of my wife to help me with toys), and 6 months of foreplay... I had murdered 15 different adult toys from overuse (with the help of my wife), becuse of just Really needing to be Fuuucked......badly. By the end of that first year together I couldn't handle the lack of **** inside me anymore. I was always in excruciating and increasingly intense pain, always aroused, and all the foreplay ended up being 6 months of teasing and build up. <br />
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I apologized profusely, before, during, and after actually raping my boyfriend. I am not proud of it... I still apologize for taking his virginity from him like that..... He's been beyond understanding and forgiving. He responded to my apologies then by telling me it was ok, that he's twice my size in height, weight, and muscle.... if he'd really wanted to stop he he could have, but didn't because he understood that at that point in time, I just REALLY needed a ****. He also tells me he's glad I raped him rather than looking for another man's **** to cheat on him with.<br />
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Now, after 4 1/2 years we are engaged and the notion of waiting until marriage is a long gone thing of the past. We'd started out mutually agreeing to wait for marriage, and stayed together an additional 3 1/2 after I broke that promise for the both of us; there is still no end of this relationship in sight anytime soon. :) I don't know what I would do or where I would be without this man. It is only with his help right now that I am able to keep this disorder under control enough to be able to function in such away that the rest of the world can no longer see there's something wrong with me. ( would still like to find legitimately professional medical help to at least remove the pain, because if not for the pain, PGAD/PSAS wouldn't be quite so bad to live with).

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I did this for almost 2 years, and I loved her very much. That loved died when things did work. We married and what was promised was not there. We had issues most would not I guess. Stress of the situation made us fight and argue. This soon killed the feelings I had for her. We divorced and ended almost 3 years later. <br />
I would not want this for my children, hard to say having a daughter. I feel you need to know things fit and work in a marriage.

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What do you mean what was promised wasn't there?

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It's typically downhill after marriage. Now, if you tell me it's uphill before...you just can't win.

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I'd respect his wishes but I don't think I could wait 6 years.

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Depends on how much I loved them overall and wanted them in my life. It wouldn't be a long engagement. If having sex was more important to me than their wishes, I'd know I didn't love them quite enough for something permanent.

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It really does not matter what anyone else would do or what they think... it really only matter what each person decides. There are many things that enter into the decision making.

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off-course wait

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I don't share the same views, but if I loved them I would stay - respect is still important at the least.

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Stay but date other women until the wedding

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You'd cheat on someone you loved?

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Big difference between the physical and the emotional

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You wouldn't care about her feelings? About deeply hurting a person you supposedly care for? No matter if they don't find out cause it's still a knife in the back. You wouldn't mind them cheating on you?

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soooo...you'd cheat? Or you'd tell her what you're doing?

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Probably tell her, I tend to be honest

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2 More Responses

Stay, of course. I share the same views.

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A hand job is still sex.

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