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I ask...because my wife never admits to the finality of our doomed sex life. She still dangles the sex carrot over my head always getting me to think it may happen someday...then pulling at away when she feels like it. And like the dope i am...when the carrot is there again, i fall for it time after time
JustBroken JustBroken 41-45, M 95 Answers Oct 27, 2010

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Spray-paint: " My husband/wife refuses to have sex with me " on the garage door.

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My wife and I have been together for more than 14 years,and she is disabled from Spina-Bifida.I still feel that we got married less than a week ago.We are as close as a couple can be.We laugh so much she sometimes has to tell me to stop with the ad-libs,already! my ribs are getting sore! We haven't had any sort of sex in probably five years.

Over the last fourteen years,I've probably stumbled accross two,or three ********,but nothing exciting.

I have found enough satisfaction just looking after her needs,-and knowing that she -really-truly-loves me.

I've found that--to be better than sex anyday.Sex is fleeting--Love is forever

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You are an incredible man & an awesome person. You know what real love & commitment are about!

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The intimacy and connection you share with your wife is incredible. Those are components of sex that many people miss out on. Congrats on figuring out what works for you two!

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I agree! sex isn't most important its the relationship--love, care, and understanding! Good for you and your wife is blessed to have you.

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You're not by chance married to my wife, are you?

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If they came right out with the words? Permission to leave granted! No more guessing Awoken!

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Too many fish in the sea to stick with a flounder.

I'd start looking elsewhere for satisfaction.

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I would leave. Without that, you are just room mates. Better to go and find someone you can be passionate with.

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Personally, I would leave. I know that this isn't an option for everyone and i sympathize with you. Can you give her an ultimatum? Sex with her or with someone else?

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First thing I would do would be to log in here and join the "I live in a sexless marriage" group, then I would log back off and cry streaking mascara tears.

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Find out if she/he fully understands what that means to you. Sometimes the spouse honestly does not understand how and why it is important. Are you able to talk frankly about sex? Have you explained that without physical intimacy you do not feel loved or appreciated? What is the underlying issue? There could be a medical, emotional, cultural, informational, body image, or abuse, problem. You owe it to your marriage to try and work through the impass.

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If she "dangles the carrot", she's not given up completely on sex. She and her lover are having fun with you. I know a guy that had the same exact thing happen to him. Sorry, but reality bites.

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Adios amigo......life is too short for crap like that!!!

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Second wife time pal.

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If she actually came out and said it I would be gone. Well not literally but I would start the legal paperwork rolling just as soon as physically possible. Or perhaps I would tell her to hit the road and GTFO.

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Firstly dress myself up to the nines make a couple of calls arrainging hook ups for sex with others (all this in front of the jackass!)... enjoy my life without him though maybe still living with him and ofcourse all this is happening in between packing my stuff to bounce... he he he

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I have heard those words and I am still in my marriage, living with the lady I love, for better or worse. I always thought that I would leave once it was clear there would never be sex between us again, but I haven't. Many have posted here that they would leave, but it is not so black and white. Sex and intimacy are very important parts of a relationship, but relationships are built on more than sex. Yes, I want intimacy back in my life but I am not prepared to rip our lives apart to do that. All I am saying is that you won't know how you feel until that moment arrives. You may feel that you can predict what you would do, but I am confident that you will only realize what you must do when that time arrives.

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I'm amazed at the shallow answers here...I have to wonder how long they've been married, if they have kids & if they truly love their spouse...

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I was in a marriage where my (then) husband told me 2 weeks after the wedding that we were "too old" for sex, and we should just "stop". Afterward, what had been a fairly-good sex life went to very very quick sex (3-5 minutes, no foreplay), and the frequency decreased. 3 weeks, 1 month, 6 weeks, 2 months, 3 months, between times. And, me begging for more. I stayed. I got depressed, essentially died slowly, got put on psychiatric medication that made me into a zombie for awhile, lost my career, then taken off of those meds when I had a life-threatening reaction to them. I did a lot of things personally - got another college degree, wrote a book, learned to design websites, but I lost PASSION. I was existing, not living. After 14 years, the guy decided to divorce me, without explanation. By then, my savings was used up.
I did love him, or thought I did. Evidently, it wasn't reciprocated.

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Talk it over, and see if we could agree to get help together - if both wanted to ?



T.C.

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I think it would seal the deal for me.

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I would say: "I'm going to go get laid, then. Please have your **** out of my home by the time I get back tomorrow morning, and my lawyer will be in touch with you shortly."

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Run to the nearest exit and EXIT

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Um, I'd head South....

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