I don't know if it helps, but I can relate. My mom and I had an OK relationship, but she had health issues and if I showed that I was having problems it upset her and made her sicker. So I learned to keep everything bottled up inside so I wouldn't hurt her. I didn't have any friends to talk to. The kids at school were a big source of my unhappiness. I would probably have killed myself but I knew that would also hurt my mom, so I was trapped here. I'm sorry, this probably doesn't help any. I wish I could say things were better for me now, but they aren't. I hope you can find a way out of your sadness and find someone to talk to who can actually help you. It makes me sad to think of other people suffering like this too.
- I would have to say i never really loved my mom ... we arent really close .. I know its bad to say this but its true, everything I do or say Irritates her, its not my fault but all i wanted was for her to be the mom that I always wanted ... (Crying) ... I feel like a bother , I dont tell people how i feel cause in the end nobody gives a fck ... I would tell some of my bestfriends whats going on but they have they own issues and I dont want to trouble them. I always been alone , cried alone , its sad i know but i dont pity myself , but some days i feel like i dont need to be on this earth ... Suicide is always on my mind But it never goes through ... is there anybody that can help me or no ?