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Okay. I just found out I'm getting married within the next 3 months and I think I may be having cold feet. I'm only 21 years old and most of my freedom has disappeared in this relationship about 2 years ago. I haven't seen any of my friends at ALL and my family time has decreased from before. I know with the marriage it'll all disappear within a month and that's what I'm scared of. I miss my family soo much and not ready to leave just yet. Especially b/c my dad doesn't look like he'll be around much longer and he needs me even more helping him around the house. I tried talking to her but she gets mad, saying I'm just backing out of it, but I'm not. I just want to help my family and finally get a career going once I finish college. I really love her and would never do that to her. I actually see myself spending my life with her, but not so soon. I just don't know what to do... Any suggestions on bringing this up in a logical way?
BigGonza21 BigGonza21 18-21, M 14 Answers Apr 19, 2011

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All I have to say is if she is this controling now it will be worse after you say I do. You need to sit down and talk to her and tell her how you really feel. If you get married now you will not last very long and if you do last. You will be so unhappy. You have to have a life and your family outside her. You are equals and you both have to live a life together and apart to have a good relationship. Best of luck....

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She is controlling everything in your life of who you see? What are you going to do when you have kids and the grandparents wants to see them. That is no way to lived. I have sister and her husband divorce her while she was 6 months pregnant. Her controlling got even worse after she got pregnant and he couldn't take it from her anymore. Your girlfriend controlling means she doesn't trust you and jealous of you spending time with other people. It is best you start thinking about getting married after you're 26. You would have some extra life experience under your belt before taking on a marriage and family. Good luck on what you decide.

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Most of girl want to live separately from their in-laws because they(girls) thinks that they(in-laws) will take away happiness(Privacy, husband's income, husband's love) from their married life.



You can talk to her to make her understand the benefits of joint family and about your feelings.

You can search google to make an essay on benefits of joint family.

Also talk to your parents that every thing goes right in future(discussing the probable disputes in joint family)

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If you have doubts now get out! Things will only get worse.

Your saying you just found out. You should have been in on the plans from the start. So I'd say run like the wind. Do not look back.

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You just found out three months ago? Sounds like a match made in heaven.



Jeeze. I thought I was young and stupid when I got married.

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I think you're backing out and making excuses. Now is a good time to do it if you think it is doomed. Don't get married just because she is pressuring you. Get married because you are ready to support a family and move away from your parents.

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Run. Fast. Never look back.

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better to have a career and a*position* in society IMHO :) pretty young jussayin'

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Bottom line ... your way too young snd your body and minds telling you this message

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