I hear you. This has been an experience in my life more than I wish, but I can truly say I don't regret it.<br />
Why? Because it finally forced my survival instincts to kick in, and forced me to reach out to others, something I really needed to learn and to do. <br />
It's very unnerving, and I needed to learn that as well. When others reach out to me, my first thought nowadays is, "Wow, I remember how hard it was for me to speak up about my needs. Let me approach this delicately and sympathetically no matter what I end up doing or not doing for them. Sympathy was more effective and helped more quickly than any tangible favor I received. Let me give that first."<br />
My sympathies to you, and my respect for you for reaching out. Prayers are surely being said on your behalf. That connects you to others, and they are caring for you right now. Some will never post a reply, but they are feeling for you right now. <br />
So banish your thoughts of loneliness. It's a feeling, but it's not true. Please, keep reaching out. That in itself will cause change.<br />
Also, be open to what your body is telling you. That is not a New Age technique, but simple wisdom from old folks. If you crave something that is not bad for you, obtain it. Ask for it. Try to believe that you will come through this time, even if you don't know how.<br />
And try reading some history. Other people have overcome amazing things. It will give you hope! Seek it, I urge you.<br />
:) Here's to your healing, friend.
This will really sound odd, but before I read your post, reaching out to someone has never crossed my mind. I grew up in an environment where problems were kept secret and speaking of them was in bad form. I learned that to be a decent person, I needed to keep a positive demeanor always, and a crack in that facade would invite decay. I've always been the sounding board for everyone else. I'm 34 years old. I don't know how to open up to people, but I will try it tomorrow. Thank you.
Relax - if ever you feel faraway from God [Spirit, Nature, Love - insert whichever you resonate with], guess who left! The Sun always shines on everyone, no matter what/who...
I too have slipped back into my dark place. It happens about every other year, triggered by life-shaking events. Currently I am living in a new state where I know few people and all of my friends are 900 miles away. One of those closest friends just died last Saturday. Death has been on my mind a lot, as it has been in the past, and I feel like I am the embodiment of walking death. An empty shell of a man who tries to drink away his pain but only ends up in more pain is nobody's good company. I feel that my "normal" self is a fun, outgoing guy who is always surrounded by wonderful people and positivity and good health. I want to crawl out of this living grave and get back to my life. How do I shake the chains holding me down?
I feel the exact same way. I feel dark and hollow on the inside and it keeps getting worse. i am also lonely and distraught :( it hurts so much. i understand your pain.
I am in a dark place that I have been before. Prior service and am seeing a psychologist,m but feel I amm not getti ng anywhere. I am alone and nobody understands unless they have been in my shoes. The VA tries to help, but my problems are just there. Raped in 1980 and 1981. Lost job second time in the military. I don't need someone to tell me you will get there.