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Long story short- I didn't know he had a girlfriend, but when I found out I told him that I couldn't see him anymore. He broke up with his girlfriend and we were just talking online for a month without hanging out because he said he needs time to himself and that he doesn't trust himself when he's with me. I told him that I can't just be his online psychiatrist because even friends hang out... so I told him that i know what i want but he obviously doesnt know what he wants so to figure things out and then talk to me afterwards. we went a week without talking and then he talked to me again and i asked him "did you figure things out?" I'm not one of those girls that plays around. Yesterday he was having a bad day and we talked. He told me that right now he is so emotionally erratic and that's why he knows that he needs time to himself. So what do i do? Do i continue being his online buddy until he figures things out or do I tell him to take his time and then come back?
poohbell2009 poohbell2009 18-21, F 13 Answers Jun 15, 2011

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Just stick around. Support him when he needs it the most and just be extremely patient and understanding. Most emotionally unstable men make wonderful husbands and fathers in the end. <br />
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Although most will say that this will have zero quantifiable chances of working, I tell you it will be worth it. Been there, done that. Just be clear and firm with your limits and boundaries. Be the great woman that you are.

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walk away

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He sounds like he is keeping you on a leash. He knows you are sticking around waiting. Is he seeking professional help if he claims to be emotionally erratic and doesn't want to be with you when he's like this? Is he pretending to be this way so he can have side dishes?<br />
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It's not fair to you. And let's say we give him the benefit of the doubt in his condition. How will he treat you when you become his girlfriend if he gets in another spiral? Either pull you down with him, hurt you or bounce you like a yo-yo like he's doing now.<br />
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I met a guy before through another woman who was a total cad. He kept having all these excuses as to why he couldn't plan that far ahead or always had to leave or couldn't do certain things with his girlfriend. Come to find out his girlfriend wasn't the only one he was dating. He was three-timing her and her two best friends who didn't even know each other til family obstacles brought them together at school. Then they discovered their boyfriends were the same guy and he wasn't even sorry when he found out they knew each other and about him.<br />
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I'm not saying your guy is like this guy. But if he truly wants to be with you and he's so concerned about his emotional health, he could seek help or just let you go so you can live your life and find someone who knows you are a human being and not a yo-yo.<br />
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Now, let's give what he went through a look-see. If he was really into his ex-girlfriend, that would explain his hard fall. And if he really likes you, then he could be wanting to not hurt you by having you be his rebound or by having you in his life then maybe hurting you since his previous relationship didn't work out. In which case, he needs time to get over her as well as time to himself as well as time to see if he really wants another relationship so soon and with you. In which case, I say give him the time he needs. But don't be afraid to live your own life. He wouldn't want that for you if he really likes you.

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He needs to grow up. You could move on and save yourself a lot of grief. You really don't owe him anything.

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its better to move away from this kind of unstable man,,,,sure one day he will cheat you as that of his ex girlfriend,unstable character is inborn,so u just move away ,and c sumother trustworthy guys,,,its my request,dont spoil ur life

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With the greatest respect to your age, you are way to young to be carrying a problem like this around with you. It's good that the guy can see he has problems that he needs to deal with because he could be so close to you that you have to deal with him dealing with them ... Does that make sense?<br />
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Choose well who you will go on to love; believe me, at your age you shouldn't feel the need to be his Social Worker or Phsyciatrist to guide him through so he knows which way he should go. I just don't see where your part is within the relationship,<br />
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Just a couple of things I think you should spend time thinking about<br />
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:-)<br />
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~F~

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What I strongly suspect he is figuring out is how to fit you in with his other girlfriend(s). Men often use emotional problems or instability as excuses because it makes women feel sympathetic and caretaking toward them. He has figured out that you "don't play around" and he knows he wants to...and not just with you. While he works it all out, I hope you are going to go out and have some fun and maybe date a few other people. Remember, you can't really "leave" him because you two are not really together. Women often use the language of commitment and marriage even when a relationship is nowhere near that level of investment and stability. And when men don't know exactly how committed they want to be, and how it might fit in with their other or potential lovers, they say they are having emotional or other problems and need time and space. Give him both.

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If he is emotionally unstable that means you are inlove with a man that is unpedictable) if u r ok with living your life not knowing what to expec next then you should stay

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I wouldn't give him high hopes that things will work out between you two if he doesn't start working on himself.<br />
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You can support him as a good friend but neither way it's him who has to take care of his things.<br />
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Anyway, I hope he realises that he has to work on himself before he can be with someone, if not he's not only making his life miserable but also the life of his partner.

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If you are not the type to play around then move on.If he comes around again one day and you are still single then give it a shot,if you are with someone when he comes back around too bad .Thats life.

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He could be hiding something. If he is not, then he needs to go get therapy and improve whatever behavioral problem he is having or move on.

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You are not in love or you wouldn't be asking this.

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You should become my pupil as soon as possible

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