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I'm 19 this year and I'm really sick of being so socially awkward. I do not have any close friends and i have never had a girlfriend. I'm really bad at socializing and i think this is why i can not get a girlfriend. It has got to the point where i really feel lonely and keep crying and i just think i'm wasting my life. I really need help to become more sociable, in terms of having conversations with people. I may get to know people but i really don't know what to say after the basics like how old are you where are you studying etc. I do not know how to follow up the conversation. I am really sick of being lonely i really hope you can give me some tips on how to be better conversing with people. i honestly think the ability to speak is the most important thing in the world and it is really affecting my life. Please help me...
dessnhf dessnhf 18-21 10 Answers Jul 7, 2013 in Singledom

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It sounds like social anxiety dude. I have it, alcohol is the only thing that really helps. I am not saying turn in to an alcoholic, but maybe have a few and go out and hit the pubs and clubs and socialise.

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Get involved in a hobby that is done in groups...I was thinking some sort of tabletop gaming, but anything that you like.<br />
...Learning a skill is all about practice, conversing is a skill.

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Hmm I'm a little like u ya know. I think it's called social anxiety. I have found one or two really good friends but, no more than that. I have never got a boyfriend because of what I have but I can offer u some tips and I can be your friend if you'd like unless you don't want. <br />
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1, start by going up to someone saying hi. 2, talk about the weather, his / her favourite food, favourite show favourite thing.<br />
3, move on to talking about life and yourself.<br />
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You're not facing this alone :) I'm 15 and struggling too with the same problem. <br />
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Don't worry be happy and I'm sure you'll have good friends.

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Conversation is easy. Opening remark (How are you, etc.) followed by open question which can not be answered with a 'yes' or 'no.' This encourages the other person to speak, and gives the impression that you're interested in them. People really like it when someone shows interest in them. Tell a story which they can relate to, preferably one which pertains to something you're somewhat passionate about. Most people don't care what it is, they'll be looking for a moment to make it about them again anyway. It should really flow from there.<br />
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A gifted conversationalist is simply somewhat who facilitates peoples' constant desire to prattle on about themselves, and knows when to ask a question. Avoid yes or no questions. As far as building up your confidence, start small. Compliment people. "I like your shoes." "I like your hair." Keep walking, though. Don't make it creepy. Work your way up from there. Eventually you'll realize that people want to be approached. People want you to be interested in what they're doing. Or notice the extra effort they put into their hair that day.

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Embrace it. Be you, there's no one else you can be. You are young. The best lesson you can learn now that will put you ahead of your cohort is to be genuine. This is what matters and it is what will help you find a lifelong partner down the road. If you change, you will end up unhappy. If you are genuinely you, you will develop confidence and your social issues will dissolve. Talk about it, laugh about it. Tell people you are socially awkward. In your age group, people will admire your courage even if secretly. Trust me.

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Chin up man, its not the end of the world and you'll be okay :)<br />
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I'd suggest finding a hobby that promotes socialising or frequent interaction with other people. Just be relaxed when you talk to people. A good way to find something to talk about is expanding upon what they've given you. E.g. If they've told you where they study, ask them if they enjoy it, how's the semester going, what are their plans after studies? People are usually glad to talk about themselves and every now and again relate your own stories/experience to theirs and so on. Good luck man, chin up :)

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Perhaps you have social anxiety. Join Social Anxiety Support or other similar forums, people here have better experience handling social awkwardness.

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get a job as a waiter, you will learn a lot about communication.

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