If you are struggling to shake this off, I would see a therapist, so that you can talk about what happened in a safe environment.
You need to talk to someone, but going back to the home is probably no use. The people that run it 40 years ago probably don't have anything to do with it now. And even if they were, they probably forget who you are, and wouldn't remember anyways. Finding someone to talk to, and share your experience with, will be helpful. You never have to carry this alone, which sounds like what you have been doing
good luck. it will take a lot of the burden off your shoulders when you share it with someone.
I would see a therapist and work out the issues first with yourself before confronting anyone . I say this because I handled my abuse in this way and I was much more prepared to face the abusers and was able to deal with the effects of the past an heal myself. Of course do what you feel is best but dealing with issues is beat rather than pushing them away deep inside. Good luck!
Anytime good luck and I wish you the best.
Do what ever gives you peace about it.....my friend.....:)
get help for youself and notify the sponsoring organization and the authorities
I believe the best solution for any traumatic event or experiences is to face them. They have the terrible prediliction to resurface and sometimes at the worst possible time in life. I reccommed you speak to a counselling service for abuse, if you can get to a service specifically for men all the better. its surprisingly liberating to talk face to face and especially to tackle the people or issue full on. You could contact the home or service provider for the home but i would imagine having a professional someone else beside you when you approach the agency or authority will not only help you but expedite a positive result. I can talk from some experience and professional perspective, i strongly suggest you face this and speak to someone, its not only cathartic it also resets your life in some ways. Hope ive said something useful to you. Genuine best wishes mate.
You should really see a therapist. My husband has DID from childhood abuse and talking about these things really does help. Best to you!
I heard a word on TV and it triggered my past that I did not remember. Mine showed up 30 years later. I ended up doing some Hypnosis work - there are some good people out there. It can put a lot of pieces together and finally put it back in the past where it belongs. I have had some Counselors as well but I found the Hypnosis relieved the pressure of not knowing, etc. Fragments of the memories remain but they are now at peace in me. It may not be for everyone but it is just a suggestion from my own experience.<br />
I also agree with what everyone else has posted. There are some excellent suggestions from different people ...<br />
I have never been to a 'Therapist' myself because I wanted to do mine on my own terms. My background can be very misunderstood because I do not have the words to describe it properly. I was too young to have the vocabulary to tell anyone. I have drawn pictures although I wasn't sure what I was drawing at the time. I have also done a lot of writing - then again not knowing what the next word was going to be. I was shocked to read some things that Doctors wrote in medical reports without even asking me and I found that to be very disturbing. That is why I thought to try Hypnosis. I found the answers that I needed that way. <br />
I wish you all the best for some peace and in your forward journey in your life ... "?" ...
Howdy Woodwose ... I'm glad that my comment may help you. No one had mentioned about 'Hynotherapy' as I had noticed.
If the Police would like to interview you - you are on the right path already. So much was never talked about for so many people. This may lead you down a whole new pathway through life - to help so many others. So many movies we watch to understand our own past so ya never know how this will help so many people. The movie 'Mommy Dearest' did me in !!! (Joan Crawford)
You have come so far already and to be the person you are is quite remarkable. Now it is finally time you get some peace and closure for yourself. You'll do it and there is absolutely NO SHAME to be had !!! Many people (including myself) blamed ourselves for years about different things when it was never our fault.
It took me 38 years to contact someone to find out about my past and I wasn't impressed. I had to wait until everyone was dead except for one person to feel safe.
All the best to you ... Thoughts will be with you ...
I was able to "ignore" it for 30 years, so you are not alone.
Form my own experience, If you try to forget about it again, it'll creep up again when you least expect it. I would find a therapist who you can trust and they would be able to help and give you support should you need to confront the orphanage. I would not recommend speaking with someone at the orphanage without talking to a therapist first. I'm sorry for your pain and the struggle these memories are causing you. You aren't alone. There are many of us who have experienced this pain as well. Good Luck.
Don't guilt yourself for struggling with this. Back when we were kids, Abuse was hidden and we didn't know we could talk to someone about it, so we naturally learned to just stuff it all inside. I feel for you.
Like everyone else said, I think you'd be best assisted by professionals.
U might be suffering from PTSD. You need to talk to a therapist so you deal with this in a safe environment. Do it!!!
If you are struggling with something it needs to be released. Why not start off by telephoning one of the helplines who support survivors. You can remain anonymous, then if you feel comfortable you can decide to go further. Good luck, whatever you decide.