There are many people that don't see themselves worthy of another person's love. So, when they find love, they are sure it's not because they are worthy of it. They give away everything they have but don't know how to accept from someone else. <br />
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This is why it is suggested that you love yourself first before getting into a relationship. <br />
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There's no issue or problem wanting to be in a relationship. It's only natural to want to share your life with someone. Do you see the difference? If you love yourself, you'll bring so much more to a relationship. No one is saying you shouldn't love another. Loving another is one of the greatest ways to give. Giving is good.

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I agree completely. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, there is something wrong with being crippled by fear of not having it though, Im not sure how to get rid of the fear

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You're so young. Stop thinking about a relationship and focus on something you'd like to do or learn. Another great way to get on with "your" life is to find a cause you believe in and volunteer. This is what it means to live your life for yourself. When love comes along, and it will, you will have your own life to blend with anothers. You cannot sit around and wait for that magic to happen. You have to begin living your life right now. An independent, strong minded woman is your goal for yourself. Make it happen! Good luck!

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You want insight on this particular topic? Have you ever fallen in love with someone that didn't love themselves? try it. You'll see how ti is.<br />
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No matter how much you are EVERYTHING they want, and say EXACTLY the right things, at EXACTLY the right times-they will NEVER feel the spark with you. Because that spark, perhaps, is the spark of wanting you to be MEAN to them, because they think they deserve it. they'll only accept you if you're hot and cold, and you give them just enough to make them work for it, because if they don't feel they earned it they'll see you as "Too easy" and BORING and WALK ALL OVER YOu.<br />
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It isn't until these people get therapy, or connect the dots that they reaiize there's ALWAYS been someone that loved them the way they wanted to be- they were just too busy making excuses about them and classifying them as no challenge. It takes decades sometimes for people to get comfortable with being themselves. <br />
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The point is, if you don't love yourself, if anyone really loves you-you'll push them away. because how could ANYONE think you were so special you didn't even have to TRY? but that IS what love IS. It's not something you earn-it's a gift.

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I am stuck in the same loop and its not fun. As much as I tell myself it will happen and even convince myself that I don't need a relationship to feel fulfilled there is always a part of me crying out for it. No mater how positive I am the feeling of "why doesn't anyone even want to get to know me any more, what's so bad about me?" is constantly in the background of my mind. I'm sure people out there would love to be with you, the moment of chance just hasn't happened yet.

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Look kids! Big Ben and Parliament!

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well im not an expert but why must you concintrate on how you feel about yourself, this is where i was a few months ago myself but my father told me that if i focus on everyone else that is around me that i love instead of how i feel worrie about others then the others will worrie about you so thats what i do now. and besides to do good for others will also give you love for youself and god wants you to do good things for others anyways, when i was working i pushed myself even harder to finish my work so i could help others that were behind on their work and they would ask me arnt you tiried and i would always say na, not really so they wouldnt feel bad for me thats one thing i cant stand is pitty for me there are so many others in this word in worst shap than i and they need help more than i do.

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your head is full of crap thinking. the population of earth is estimated at 6,928,198,253 people. so odds of you not hooking up are pretty slim of that happening. <br />
a relationship takes only 2 people. You got half of that on your side already!<br />
self improvement lesson<br />
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#1 Don't sweat the small ****, it's all small ****.<br />
#2 Dog takes a ****, oh no somebody some where fell in love. (spiritually correct of course analogy)<br />
#3 Where are you looking for these bums? What! you do know men are too stupid to find love.

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Im really sorry but i dont get number 3, maybe its the way its written?

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Unless your out there looking, being places meeting guys being introduced by friends or coworkers...church or what ever your thing is a guy isn't that worried about finding the women of his dreams, you got to get there before the other women find him or her or whoever you are looking for.

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Extremely insightful for someone your age. Good self esteem is important to relationships and a fulfilling life, but self love to the point of perfection (narcissism) is not. There is nothing wrong with you because you don't have a special someone. When you are ready to put yourself out there, he (or she) will be there.<br />
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As you have discovered, the self improvement loop can be a bit of a paradox, but this isn't as complicated as it seems if you look at each component as a continuum and that all aspect should be taken in moderation. Self improvement is a life long process, so if you wait until you are perfect, you will miss out on life. All choices in life have risk (including the choice to not make a choice). Relationships have risk. If you are to the point where you want a relationship, as this question indicates, go for it. <br />
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The best advice I can give on dating is to have your best friends check him out and trust their opinions. Tests have shown women are terrible when judging the ethics and morals of a guy they like. The poor judgement is a hormone thing, and only applies to guys a woman is romantically attracted to. Outside of that, their judgement is as good as anyone else. <br />
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Have fun and good luck.

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I can sympathize completely. I love myself, but I've been single for about 4 years now. I haven't met the right person yet, but being patient is definitely brutal. <br />
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Anyways, to answer your question: Just because you don't get "picked" as somebody's partner, does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. It could be that in this life it's necessary for you to be alone to grow in certain ways. Not panging for a relationship is the hard part. I catch myself wishing for it more and more often, but I refuse to just jump into a relationship for the hell of it. Hope this helps :S

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I dont believe in multiple lives though if thats what you meant

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it's what I meant. I used to not believe in multiple lives until I did a bunch of research

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Your new program: Bruce Springsteen's "Born To Run." Go.

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comfortable within your own skin is a must. If you worry about others not approaching you then they themselves are possibly not comfortable with themselves. Who says YOU can't approach people though :)

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i can identify with that. i have slowly learned to love myself, but the pain of being alone for so long is hard to bear. i am resigned to waiting. when the time comes, it will be worth it. not everyone else gets a relationship. you are not alone.

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I really dont want to be one of those people who doesnt get it though

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