Hins2010, I'm guessing you are in a similar scenario that I was in last year....
The marriage therapist that my wife and I were seeing suggested that we both read Divorce Busting. Since she was the one trying to get out of the marriage, I was alone in taking the therapists suggestion. All I can say is that I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL I DID. Honestly, because of Divorce Busting, my marriage went from assured disaster to as strong, if not stronger, than it's ever been. The principles in this book are practical, and easily adopted. Within just a couple of weeks of applying Weiner-Davis' principles, I could see the change in my wife. It was nothing short of magic. I have this book and Michele to thank for saving my marriage, you deserve to give it a chance.
I have not heard of her. BUT - I have some exprerience with this subject.
I can tell you the best advice for "saving your marriage" is to dump your ego. LISTEN to the other person and dump your ego about what you think a marriage "should" be.
If you can do this you will see the situation and relationship as it is and this will free you to experience the very best communication you have ever had.
Having said all of that - be kind to yourself and your spouse. value that kindness and make it a pivital role in how you proceed from here on out.
I have learned these lessons the hard way.
Divorce busting works.
Michele Weiner-Davis is internationally known for her exceptional expertise as a marriage therapist and trainer of other marriage therapists. She is a best selling author and Oprah guest, to highlight a couple of things she's done.
Weiner-Davis is a solution-oriented, brief therapy, marriage expert. She is pro-marriage and has a career history of helping couples in the worst of marital conflict not only save their marriages, but make them good marriages. She has tools for helping one partner in the marriage when the other does not want to participate in therapy.
Her best-selling book is Divorce Busting, but my favorite is her updated book The Divorce Remedy. She has lots of free information on her website www.divorcebusting.com. She also has a lot of videos on YouTube.
I believe marriages that are not meant to be can't be "saved" but if a couple decides to drag it along then that's their mistake but in the end you're still the same people and the same issues will exist between you no matter what you do and will go your separate eventually. Pretending only takes away the validity of the intent.