In Marriage, should your partner come first before the children?

That's what they say, although I always put my child first

My parents always told my sisters and me that they put each other first so that they could then have a strong and lasting marriage. They felt that if they were together in a healthy marriage they would have more to give us and all others in their lives. They have been married 49 years this year.

Well... Mommies... If you want to harm your kids and your marriage, put them before your husband. You have just guaranteed division by inviting your own children right into your marriage. (which is between two people). Children do not have "equal" status nor are they on par with my wife. My children are not my friends. In fact, when one of my children speaks disrespectfully to my woman, I don't tell them "don't speak to your mother like that". I tell them "don't you dare speak to my wife like that". The clear message is that this is an unbroken union. This provides stability and peace for the kids.

The problem arises when wives are not getting what they need from their husbands; emotionally. These starved women begin feeding off of their children and the kids become the priority. I have watched this firsthand with my own wife though I did not realize it until years into our marriage.

The marriage must be the centerpiece of a family. An undivided fortress that provides a safe place for children to live and grow. Think about this before you buy into modern thinking too much. We generally say that a mother's love trumps the love of a father. BS. We also elect the mother as having the most important parental role. More BS. Both are needed and the importance of fathers has been lost in our generation.

If I am in a sinking boat with my wife and my children, I am the only one who can swim, and am able to rescue only one person; I will rescue my wife.

In a life-threatening situation the children come first. Everything else depends on circumstances.

Why cant men just grow up on their own without their partners having to mother them. That's what it comes down to at theend of the day.

When you children are young, their needs come first.

Look at it like this: Women are expected to look after the children, wash, dress, feed, make sure they are happy, give them attention,etc.

They are also expected to look after the house, clean, laundry, cook dinners, etc.

In all fairness how the hell do men expect a woman to look after their every need as well. I know some men are good but the majority are big selfish kids.

I don't think so. Both you and your partner should put your children first while still making time spent together without the children a priority.

Everything should be equal in a marriage, kids and partner. But as we all know it isn't like that. Think your kids should come first to a certain extent then you have the rest of your life to put your partner first?!

my children have always come first in our relationship. now they have flown the nest we are learning new things about one another every day and learning to have fun with one another again!!!

My children will always come first and so would my partner.
They all get on great toghether so there is no problem.

i am glad i am not one of travelinman's kids... my daughter comes first in my life for everything. i know i need to make time for myself also, but right now because of my situation it just isn't an option. i think ideally you should set aside special time for yourself & your partner, with no interruptions from the kids. but if I was on a sinking ship & could only save one person, you bet your *** it would be my daughter. she didn't ask to be here & deserves every opportunity to get the most & best out of life. i gave her life. how could i just let her die? not a chance.

Hell no! My children always come first compared to anyone.

c8lorraine put it best. That’s what they say but I think naturally your going to put your child first. It just happens.

I think that your partner is really important and you have to make time for him/her; however your children are your blood and as a parent you are to protect them from everything and care for them more than you do yourself.

So your kids have to come first, however your husband/wife should be a close second.

Yes.

yeah, I've also heard partner before the children