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What if i sleep with him, just for the purpose of getting pregnant? He is a friend, lives on the other side of the country. He is married, he has 2 children. I have none. I am at the point where if i wait any longer, i won't be able to ever have children. My boyfriend of 8 years is infertile. I love him dearly and have no desire to do anything behind his back, but i am unwilling to give up my chance of parenthood forever. I will see my dear (and very married) friend in two weeks, for 2 days. Coincidentally, i should be ovulating at that time. I don't want to complicate his life, or my life, but i feel this is my only chance at having a kid.....I am so confused, i have a strong desire to go through with this, but i know its wrong. How can i possibly do the wrong thing? This is so selfish...I am not a selfish person, i care very much about people around me, about this friend and his happiness, about his wife, about my boyfriend....I can't talk to anyone honestly and openly about this...
lostandconfusedsince2007 lostandconfusedsince2007 36-40, F 9 Answers Oct 18, 2009

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You could use your friend as a doner w/o actually sleeping with him. Just be sure to talk with your boyfriend and your friend's family as well.

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Go to the spermbank WITH your boyfriend. If you did something like that with your friend and your boyfriend knew and the friend's wife knew and it was done clinically.. maybe THEN it'd be ok. What you're talking about is betrayal to all around you. I can understand why you feel the way you do, but desperation doesn't make sound GOOD decisions. Think about it.

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I can honestly say I only read the first 2 lines and can answer this one<br />
<br />
YES IT'S WRONG<br />
I am so glad you aren't friends with my husband<br />
There are plenty of men out there to choose from without tearing up a home <br />
selfish,selfish,stupid.........

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Just don't. You'll reget it. And there's no going back when it comes to bringing children into the world.

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No way, I can't believe you haven't considered asking your boyfriend if you can just use donor *****!! What you are thinking of doing is cheating. instead, just use donor *****, and then it is not cheating. Seriously talk to your boyfriend. If you can't talk about this feeling with him, there is a big problem. If he is against having kids after 8 years...well hell why are you not married even? Have you seen the movie "he's just not that into you" where they say, 'if you are together for 7 years and he won't marry you, he's just not that into you". <br />
What you are thinking of doing will end with you tied to someone you will hate who will secretly hate you to(married guy), and then your boyfriend of 8 years will hate you and leave you. You will hate yourself as your kids will never have a worthy father. But if you let your boyfriend know, "this is my decision and I am going to go get donor *****." Then you can solve all your problems in only one shot!!!<br />
Seriously how can you not see this ten times better and very obvious option sitting right in front of your face!!!

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This is a duh. You want to have a baby from a MARRIED man and get stuck with this child therefore causing additional problems in an already troubled marriage AND you have a boyfriend who is sterile. Is it that you think he won't NOTICE that you're pregnant? Other than these stark facts...do what you want but be ready to live with the consequences. It's a good thing your boyfriend didn't marry you because that for better or for worse would NOT have worked for you!!

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