The issue with cyber bullying versus bullying when we were kids is firstly the anonymity of it. On social network sites the bullies create anynymous profiles so the victim receives the poisonous messages or toxic postings about them and they don't know who is doing it. The bullies also create humiliating profiles that look like the victim's profile and post nasty stuff on the victims behalf to hurt, belittle, humiliate them or to get them into trouble.
It's not as simple as blocking them, they just come back as another user name and keep at it. The anonymity they can hide behind means that it could be their own supposed best friend using the secrets of friendship against them - it's a haven for all thet nasty spite and bile that young and immature kids and teenagers are capable of.
Consequently, the victim becomes a victim in real life as well as online because they are walking around school not knowing who their bully is and also humiliated because everyone at school has read embarassing postings that they are supposed to have made so they are constantly defending themselves and become more and more isolated - it really is a huge problem.
I am not a parent myself but I must say, I really don't envy any parents in this day and age having to deal with this as it's brand new and not anything our own parents had to deal with. Parents today are on their own trying to tackle this with no past tried and tested methods to use as a guide. The only advice I can give you is to keep yourself armed and in the loop. A lot of schools run seminars for parents givng them advice on what to look out for, how to use these social networking sites themselves etc. Keep yourself as educated as possible on the subject x x x
I fully agree with you. The internet can be a great learning tool but it's a hotbed for bile aswell - just look at the amount of trolls here on EP and we are mostly adults here! They recommend, if allowing a youngster to use the home computer, that it be kept in the family room with the screen facing out so you can monitor it at any given moment. Kids are going to want to use facebook and social networking, all their friends are on it so this kind of bullying is now rampant, sadly. I would also recommend for parents to have a chat with their kids regarding both sides of the coin, what to do if being bullied but also to warn them of what bullying is and the consequences of it - no one wants to imagine their own child might do it to other kids but it's always a terrifying possibility! Again, hats off to parents of this generation - you poor guys have your work cut out for you! All our parents had to do was keep in touch with the neighbourhood spies (Mum always had spies everywhere!) to stay one step ahead of us - but this is unchartered territory! You sound like you're on top of it though so just keep making a nuisance of yourself and keep poking your nose into their business...makes you unpopular for a couple of years but they'll thank you as soon as they are mature enough!!!!! x x x
Wow...I had no idea. Thank you for sharing.
Accorting to 60 minuets or was that Dateline, or was it Nightline?? it is. I am with you it get like that - turn the computer off and toss the football around.
not everyone likes football, or is good at it. as i recall, football players were the biggest bullies around.
The bad thing is, cyber bullies can ruin your image online at social sites, for EVERYONE to see. So if your bully starts spreading rumors about you on Facebook, the next day EVERYONE in school will hear about it and terrorize you every day until you cave. It's not as simple and isolated as it used to be- it's on a larger scale.
Bullying isn't a problem today anymore than it was in the past IMO, it's the fact that parents overreact to it all thus making the kids who was targeted feel even worse. rather than teach kids how to fight their own fights parents are babying their kids for far too long so when more adult problems occur, like being bullied, the kids don't have the skills to shrug it off, they are weak emotionally and feel helpless because they expect mommy and daddy to swoop in and save them like always. I don't blame the kids. They're just doing what they've been taught to do(take it and hope someone comes along to fix it) I've encountered bullying both on and off line even as a teen. I never needed help because my parents taught me how to deal with it and gave me the confidence in myself to handle those situations. Many parents today do not do that, in this culture of monitoring your kids 24/7 to keep them 'safe" and jumping in to save the day when any problem creeps up whether big or small rather than let the kid work it out, and they can only blame themselves when their kids are unable to fight their own battles. Also, the definition of bullying has changed. Now even normal teasing between kids is labeled as bullying. The cases of real severe bullying isnt much I bet. But they are blown so out of proportion...fact is if parents would teach their kids how to ignore a bully and give them the confidence and self esteem they need while growing up to grow into strong confident adults rather than weak whining messes they are now most instances of bullying would die off fast. The problem is adults getting involved all the time making the situation ten times worse rather than let the kids handle it. Online or off, it's all the same. Except yes, you can only have a bully online if you sit there and *let* them bully you...and if you are stupid enough to do that than yeah guess you deserve it.
Cyberbullying is an extension of real bullying. Its not usually done by people you ONLY know on line. It emplys soial media and email and phone connections to reach a person in their home or private spaces. But these are still the same kids who always got bullied. They need to be in these places to be connected and the bullies could on it. To not have facebook, email and a phone for a teenager is the same as being Amish to this generation. So, its real and its a problem.
You can forbid Facebook and anything else. But that with make your kids social lepers ; cut off from the netweork that "everyone" is part of. I hear your pain as a parent and grandparent myself. But this is the modern connected world. You have to give the kids the skills to deal with it. Not cut them off.
there are a LOT of benefits to being online. for one thing, you find that there are lots more people who enjoy things you enjoy instead of treating you like crap because you don't like the things they like.
so, you're saying it was GOOD that teachers & principals ignored the situation and blamed the victim?????
"turning off the computer" means you miss a lot. a lot of things were different when we were kids, and lots of them were NOT good despite all the nostalgic glurge that goes around.
some of the things that were not so good are the assumption that bullying is ok and it's the victim's fault. it's great that there is at least some dim awareness coming about that bullies should be held accountable for their own behavior, and that parents should teach their kids not to be a-holes.
also not so good is the assumption that everyone has to play sports, and that there's something wrong with you if you don't. for many, sports are boring and meaningless, and the biggest culture for bullying and hazing.
please tell me that you are supportive of your kids and don't tell them it's their fault if someone harrasses them.
It baffles me too. Why do kids give their numbers and email address's etc..out willy nilly?
Common sense you cannot teach, maybe they deserve it?
NOBODY "deserves" it.
you're right. The last part was in poor taste.
Hopefully, if they're giving their phone numbers and everything else, they will learn from their mistakes