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recently, the 21 year old son of the uncle who sexually abused me when i was a child made sexual passes at my niece, who is his 2nd cousin, and confessed to her that he spied on her a few years ago when she let him stay with her and her bf, peeping at her while she was naked, etc. is this a case of the fruit not falling far from the tree? my uncle was know to have done some of the same things, peeking at women through keyholes, watching women he shouldn't have while ************, etc.
jerrica jerrica 41-45, F 5 Answers Jul 1, 2010

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Peeping is normal childhood behavior. Sexual abuse isn't. I understand why you would think this person is dangerous, and you may be right. But if he hasn't done anything illegal, don't blame the young man for what his father did. That doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your family away from him, but do it as a precaution, not an assumption of guilt. He could still be a decent guy.<br />
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As for your question, there are certainly some predispositions towards deviant behavior that are genetic. Testosterone levels increase sex drive in males, and that is certainly hereditary. But there are also things that are perfectly innocent naturally, but society has taught us not to do. Children have no problem running around naked until taught not to. More than likely he just wasn't taught. But whether it is nature or nurture doesn't really matter, a person shouldn't be blamed by the way they were born or the way they were raised. <br />
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Someone (you) needs to tell him what happened to you. Certainly his parents aren't going to do it. If he never learns the effects of this type of behavior the cycle may never be broken. Maybe he does have a problem, but he cannot seek help if he doesn't know it. But hopefully this is simply a bit of (justified) paranoia on your part.

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i don't blame him for what his dad did but i can't help but notice similarities in their behavior. if he had been 8,9 or 10 when he was peeping, maybe there wouldn't be alarm but he was 17 at the time this happened, more than old enough for it to be innocent childish behavior. i would have to think long and hard about telling him what his dad did to me for a number of reasons. i'm not sure i want to open that can of worms.

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In this cause, what you are describing is a "learned behavior" from watching the actions of his father. I would try and avoid this person from now on, sounds like they are on a very dangerous course.

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i don't know that he ever saw his dad do any of these things but i agree with you in avoiding him. none of us would feel comfortable around him and my niece told him to stay away from her.

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So we're talking about an attractive woman in her late twenties with a teenage boy in the house. I can't answer your question but he just sounds Male to me.

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true, he's male, but he knows that spying and propositioning his cousin was foul. he should have known that she'd let him have it, that she doesn't play that way.

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