I had an ex who acts like that.. Its ok for him to talk about whats bothering him and if i did it turns into this whole ur insecure and unstable fight we would take a break for few weeks and it goes back to the same pattern
After a while i realised that the only reason he never breaks up with me cuz i was the only one who listens to him and stood by him through tough times but he was selfish and he didnt care about my feelings at all. I loved him a lot and i didnt want to lose him but seeing how i was hurting myself i became strong enough and broke up with him
there is something to wanting a person to hang out with and just having it be nice and easy and not talk about anything serious; but that should not be the person you are involved in a romantic or intimate relationship with; if someone wants that sort of relationship it's more because they want you as a **** buddy than as a serious romantic partner, and you should find someone who wants a real relationship
i've had that relationship too; with a divorced woman; i think for people who've been in a long relationship sometimes they just need their space. there's nothing you can really do to change the other person's state of emotional readiness for a relationship...
If he you have to act shallow to be with him and he wants to use you as a sounding board for his life issues but can't return in kind he's not the guy for you.
As for the drama, I don't blame you for not wanting it in your life. Drama is a buzz kill for anyone. I vote that you live your life and chalk this up to a learning experience.
Birthdays happen every year, if you're gonna be with this guy, it'll all fall into place. For now, the trip out of the country may be the perfect amount of time for him to realize what he is missing.