Is having a child a selfless decision or a selfish decision?
I know that it takes a lot of time and effort and sacrifice to raise a child, and that can make it look like a selfless decision.
BUT
There is a risk that your kid might be utterly miserable. Ex: They may be born with the most painful and medically puzzling condition. It is a low probability, but would you take ANY gamble when it comes to your child's wellbeing? A more common situation is that your child may suffer with lifelong depression. One in six people in the US gets depression in their lifetime. How do you know your kid won't be this one out of six?
Isn't bringing a child into an imperfect world (where they WILL suffer, possibly a lot) without their consent a selfish act?
What do you think?
15 Answers to "Is having a child a selfless decision or a selfish decision?"
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As a young woman I always knew I wanted children. It was a 'need' in me that became greater the older I got. Whilst some would say this could be considered 'selfish', I don't see it that way. I love the fact my children share (some) aspects of my personality ie. we tend to laugh at the same things, see things the 'same' and kinda 'look' similar to me.
The 'need' for family of my own was so great, but I equally respect others who choose not to go down this route and stay childless. At times, I've thought blimey, you've got it right, no kids, plenty of money, but deep down I just know it's not what I really would have wanted.
I have put my needs first, but by doing this my selflessness has come through as it's not easy as I actually thought it would be xLike (2)
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I see it as selfish. If I'd done it, it would have been about me, not my potential offspring.
My mom had me for selfish reasons too.
She was told getting married and having kids would make her happy. She picked a loser husband. She wasn't happy. She took that out on me.
...At least I'm not taking my bad decisions out on anybody.Like (2)
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I have long thought that having a biological child is a selfish decision. The world is overpopulated and running out of resources. Many, many children already exist who desperately need parents, but do not have them. And, as you pointed out, a child can be born with and/or into a huge number of problems. People have kids to make themselves feel better. It gives them someone to love, and someone to love them, and makes them feel like their lives have value. It's entirely about how the parents feel.
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I agree with you.
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Life isn't just about suffering. Life isn't just about pain. Between all those lows and valleys are peaks and highs that make a life lived worthwhile. Do you really want to keep a soul from experiencing those highs because they may face some lows?!? What gives you the right to decide whether they get to experience life or not? You don't know that your child will be the one with debilitating depression. You don't know that your child is more than capable of overcoming that depression.
Maybe you don't want to give anything up in your life to dedicate time to raising kid(s). But that's about you. You're not being selfless by keeping people from living; you're being selfish.Like (2)
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...All life is suffering...
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Without suffering you cannot know what it means to be happy, or enjoy life. Without pain you cannot know what it means to feel good; to know pleasure.
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You made a good point. But what if on the off chance, you raise an amazing child who benefits society? Who makes a difference and who helps and makes other people feel better. What if, not wanting to bring a child into this world because it is imperfect, selfish? - because you don't know that you can deal with it or because you don't feel that you can adequately raise a happy child, so therefore you don't.
And honestly, it's only a gamble if you feel that you can't support your child no matter what. There are so many people in this world who are not "normal" according to society's definition but they are happy nonetheless because their parents raised them to be that.Like (2)
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There is definitely a chance that the child will be happy and productive, and there is a chance they won't be (even if you try your best). Ultimately, it is a gamble. Maybe the odds are not too bad, but still it is a gamble and there is a risk of loss. You generally shouldn't gamble with something you're not willing to lose. My child's wellbeing is not something I would place bets on. Btw, I am not talking about the risk of a child who is not normal according to society's standards. That may not be the end of the world, and the child can still be happy with the right kind of support and guidance. The child can have debilitating physical or mental conditions that can't be cured. I have seen some children born with very painful conditions that no doctor could diagnose, and just died a slow and extremely painful death. Nothing the parents could do to help. There is a whole spectrum of suffering. I definitely consider adopting a child because I love children. But loving children is precisely why I wouldn't bring a new kid into the world.
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Honestly? It's neither. In it's in our nature to want to reproduce, and that's neither selfish nor selfless. I think it depends more on your motivation. But, I don't think bringing a child into the world with their consent is a selfish act and I think people who say that are kinda silly. No offense to them.
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Life is a gamble. (period) Its not selfless or selfish act, its neither. It is what it is.
You create your own settings....Like (2)
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You sound naive. There's a lot more disadvantages to having a child than mental health issues.
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I don't think the world is a horrible place. And I was born with a painful condition. I'm glad I'm here.
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if you can take care of this child and you love it, it isn't selfish.
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How in the world would that be selfless?
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"Self" is that sweet little life that is gifted into your arms and that will hopefully forever look up to "you"....inho...
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Given the global prevailing variables...
It's a Selfish & irresponsible urge to act upon :(Like (1)
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Depends
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by wolflionheart 1 Nov 30th, 2012 at 10:49PM
selfish if you are using the child
selfless if you are genuinely planning to love and care for the child
[ Reply ] | Like (4)
Reply by Elaria Dec 3rd, 2012 at 2:10AM
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