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tinkerbell2067 tinkerbell2067 41-45, F 26 Answers Feb 7, 2013 in Marriage

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As a portable expensive device only a fool wouldnt have it password locked. Ask him for the password so you can use it, if he refuses then its time to unleash the paranoid pixies.

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Stop snooping , he's an individual person who has the right to privacy .

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Thought the privacy rule went out the door 24 yrs ago when we married.

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It did!Privacy is for single people not married.

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Thank you!

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You should ask for the pass code. If he gets defensive and doesn't give then yes.

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Thats exactly what he did, got very defensive when I moved from table to clean.

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Open communication, you need to ask him too. It's not wrong to say what's he doing on it and check.

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Not sure ... how is your relationship otherwise?<br />
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Do you have a reason to be concerned? If not, let him have his privacy and you can have yours.

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Here's a thought, ask him!

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sounds like it's time for a discussion??

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This. If he's hiding something you need to talk, and if he's not hiding anything it's still better to talk than to quietly let resentment and mistrust build up.

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yes you're being insecure. If the only thing that indicates that he could be cheating is his belongings being pass code protected then you need to evaluate yourself. All my technology is pass code protected and most of the time it is my pin number to unlock it. But, I would not leave my tablet where you do not need a pass code to use it. And, if my sig other needed to use my tablet I would-- but I would not give him the code.<br />
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Although Im not married-- I dont think that if I was to get married I would share the code anyway.

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In your own words "If he does not trust me then why are we in a relationship?" Yet you are stating above that you wouldn't give him the code if you were married or not. Obviously you do not trust him enough to give him your pass codes so you are contradicting yourself.

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How? Im saying that if I do not trust him (nor does he trust me because i do not believe in double standards) we do not need to date. period. I do not need for him to feel the need to pry into my personal devices. Because that would be based off of mistrust.

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Does he ever take it out of the house? If yes, then you probably are being insecure.

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Never takes out of house

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Tablets are meant to be taken out... and actually I'd feel more insecure if a tablet which is NOT taken out still has a passcode... then who's that passcode against?

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Time to ask him, but don't make it an accusation. Better to ask him if he feels YOU can't be trusted. That way, he doesn't feel defensive, so he is less likely to go on the offense; unless he really does have something he is hiding. My wonder is always, if he cares enough to hide something, why is he doing whatever it is? If he cares so little that he will do something that will cause you distress or make you angry, why doesn't he just say he is done, and leave?

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There should be no secrets in a marriage, so ask him why. If you want to be sneaky and find out what he is doing it is very easy to tap a wireless connection, and since it it your connection you are allowed to listen in on activity that is on your connection. What you are allowed to do with the information you learn about may vary by your state laws.<br />
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I will caution you that you may learn more than you want to know. I would try the direct approach first. I learned about my wife's cheating when she asked me to fix her computer. As part of that I monitored her connection and saw her IM conversations which years became part of the divorce. It was devastating and I would not wish that on anyone. **** is often devastating to a woman but in reality means very little to a man. We are exposed to so much on a daily basis it only makes a man want to see more of the things that interest him, so if it is **** you have an opportunity to learn more about him. If it is ****, the best thing you can do is learn what excites him and make that part of your bedroom activities. That is my guess as to what he is up to. Men generally dont go looking for another woman until they feel the woman at home is no longer "their" woman.

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Maybe it is just for work.

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so what if he has<br />
12 womens phone numbers<br />
rocket launch codes<br />
swiss bank accounts

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When a spouse wont share a password then they are hiding something.You don't say if have asked for the password or not.

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Did ask him for pass word and he said my tablet my buisness.

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Married spouses share everything.HUGE RED flag.I think there is trouble coming.Sorry you are in that situation.

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Thank you for be honest

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I'd think so

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If it is pass coded to keep others from looking at it then it is understandable but if it is to keep you from seeing it then it's a little weird.

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Time to talk to him. If he's hiding something, then ofc you need to talk. If he's not hiding something, it's still better to talk than to let doubt and resentment build up.

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I have a secret computer.... Yes it is bad. I don't hide my pass codes from my husband on the other computers in my house. Food for thought here I think.

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He is constantly checking my history. I do have another life he doesn't know about. I don't know how long this other life will go on.

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A passcode itself is not necessarily against you. Maybe he just wants to protect his data in case of loss.<br />
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If you feel insecure, you can just ask him for his passcode. If he gives it to you and lets you play with his tablet, there's no reason to feel insecure. If he doesn't... ask him why.

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yes

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Possibly.

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