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SaxPower SaxPower 31-35, T 57 Answers Aug 23, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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Yes. For the same reason you don't go swimming with an anchor.

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Always. You can do bad by yourself, as TLC says in one song.

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yes,because I used to be one, and I was an ******* to people without realizing it,was bitter and cold and mean,very- when drinking hard liquor and taking pills would blackout and do bad things without realizing it,could of hurt someone I loved

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Yes. As he sinks deeper and deeper into his rut of drugs and alcohol, he'll drag you down in there with him. My wife learned that lesson from her first husband.

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Even if you are not an alcoholic yourself?

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Even if you're not an alcoholic or drug user yourself. I grew up around alcoholism. Had I not left the area I grew up in, I likely would have been one myself. I've learned from that experience as much as I've learned from my wife's experiences. Both my wife and I have found that alcoholics can be great charmers. Though you may not be involved in the substance abuse, how you will get dragged down will be through you getting angry at his frequent substance abuse. You'll get dragged down by covering for him and making excuses for him. You'll get dragged down by forsaking friends and family just so you can cover for him being too drunk or stoned to be around decent people. You'll be dragged down by your desire to live a safe, comfortable life while he chooses to risk his life and maybe yours through his substance abuse. You'll be dragged down by your constantly worrying about his safety and well being. These are just a few examples.

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Thank you for helping me save myself

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I wish you the best of luck in getting through this.

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It is always good to break up if the relationship demolishes you.

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It kind of doesn't because we have separate lives

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I am going to disagree with most of the people here. It is not always good to do. I usually is, but yes there are exceptions. One of them being that you feel good about him, and the relationship. There are numerous hazards though, like high, very high, risk of STD. High risk of getting abused. I would recommend you think it over real good, but personally, I think I'd break up.

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Maybe he won't wrong me, but I can't get too much further ahead in life if I'm attached to someone who's so demotivated

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Then the relationship is demolishing you. Holding you back is a kind of demolishing. Besides that, you know that you have to break up, to get free, to get further. It is hard, and you might get hurt by yourself. But it is always better to hurt yourself, than let anyone else do the hurting. I really am sorry, but this is the best advice I can give.

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Yes. But if you really love him ask him to stop if he does or is trying stay with him.

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I have a great deal of grief do to this question. I found it to be very harmful to ones life to stick it out in these relationships.

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Yes. When somebody drinks too much, you never know what they could do. You can't fix an alcoholic. I live in a town on that's been on the decline for over 2 decades and about 65% of the people seem to only care about going out to drink or drinking in general.<br />
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There's actually literally almost a bar here for every 100 feet and yet even with the small population I'm sure they all get plenty of business.

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Yes, Yes, YES!!!!! They can get very violent when "high". They get rather possessive as well (you're mine and if I can't have you then no one can!). They will even swear they can change (but they never do). Get out while you can!

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No. There are two exceptions:<br />
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1. You are performing an experiment for a thesis paper on destructive social relationships.<br />
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2. Your self-esteem is already worse than a person who is attempting, through destructive drug induced escapism, to avoid reality, that being second place to an addiction is actually a step up for you.

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If you consider alcoholism to mean they drink every day two or three beer, but never really get drunk and occasionally smoke pot, then you may have jumped the gun. If they are drinking themselves to oblivion and using drugs as well that might be a good decision to break up with them. When you act as their source of comfort you are kind of keeping them from hitting rock bottom and dare I say enabling their behavior. If they enter treatment/AA the first thing they will be told is to stay out of relationships for the next year. So, it really could be in their best interest to end the relationship. <br />
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I don't think anyone can know whether something is 100% right 100% of the time, because life isn't black and white and there are large grey areas that exist. Do what you think is right, but make sure you think about your decision and the possible outcomes first :) If you stay, could you risk loosing the respect of your friends, family or yourself? That wouldn't be worth it to stay. Just do what you feel is right, and maybe ask a few friends and perhaps even your partner.<br />
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Good luck with that difficult situation. I wish you the best!

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I'm talking get wasted every day. Pot every day, starting at 6 or 7 pm up until late at night.

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Do you find that behavior acceptable? Or are those deal breakers for you?

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Sounds like a problem, and they need help. The situation is like a weed when you're trying to plant flowers. They will steal all the nutrients...

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you can try to help but there comes a point when you have to look out for yourself

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I was never trying to help or rescue him. I kind of let him live his own life, and mind my own business, but relationship turns shallow then,

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not if you can help them without sacrificing everything you've worked for

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They don't want to be helped or saved

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well unfortunately it's tough love. you should probably move on to someone who is going to care =/

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Yes, unless he is holding someone you love hostage or if he knows where your parents/family live. Then you have to be careful.

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He's not really agressive, just lazy and demotivated

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yes, there is no need for someone like that in your life

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But I need the fun that he brings to my life... :(

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Yes.

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What if it isnt just him with the problem its the both of but he atlleast owns up to his

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I have problems, but not that kind of problems

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YES! I think you kind of know the answer to this question already.<br />
Unless you prepared to totally give up your dreams and ambitions to spend your days looking for him and watching out for him.<br />
Unless you don't ever want children as to have kids and give them the unpleasant gift of an alcoholic Father is no joy.<br />
I could go on and please hear my heart, I have compassion on anyone who has an addiction but you not his wife so my advise to you would be to RUN

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yes 100% lol

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Yes it is!

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