Yes.

Best Answer

Why is that?

Best Answer

You can't fix them. You CAN be broken by them. They will not get better until they decide to do it, for their own reasons. You can't provide the motivation to get well.

Best Answer

YES

Best Answer

Why?

Best Answer

Are you daft? Do you want to get dragged down with him? If he's doing drugs, and is an alcoholic how is he going to provide for you? How is he going to provide for his children if you even have any? He's going to spend all the money he gets on drugs and alcohol. Getting involved with a drug addict alcoholic is going to be a one sided relationship. He will do nothing but complicate you and drag you down. You might as well just be single because you're going to be just as alone in a relationship with a drug addict than you would be single. He cannot provide for himself let alone anybody else. Moreso, there's a strong possibility he could get YOU addicted to those things. Is that the future you want for your and your children? His future is going no where and you're going no where with him.

Best Answer

I kind of knew, but I NEED TO HEAR IT TODAY! So thanks a million, you are helping me save myself.

Best Answer

It is always good to break up if the relationship demolishes you.

Best Answer

It kind of doesn't because we have separate lives

Best Answer

I am going to disagree with most of the people here. It is not always good to do. I usually is, but yes there are exceptions. One of them being that you feel good about him, and the relationship. There are numerous hazards though, like high, very high, risk of STD. High risk of getting abused. I would recommend you think it over real good, but personally, I think I'd break up.

Best Answer

Maybe he won't wrong me, but I can't get too much further ahead in life if I'm attached to someone who's so demotivated

Best Answer

Then the relationship is demolishing you. Holding you back is a kind of demolishing. Besides that, you know that you have to break up, to get free, to get further. It is hard, and you might get hurt by yourself. But it is always better to hurt yourself, than let anyone else do the hurting. I really am sorry, but this is the best advice I can give.

Best Answer
1 More Response

you can try to help but there comes a point when you have to look out for yourself

Best Answer

I was never trying to help or rescue him. I kind of let him live his own life, and mind my own business, but relationship turns shallow then,

Best Answer

Unless you want to die

Best Answer

I really don't care too much about dying.

Best Answer

Why would you do that when it sounds like he has a bright future ahead

Best Answer

LOL!

Best Answer

Because he's fun as hell

Best Answer

Yes.

Best Answer

I think that's a BIG yes!!!

Best Answer

No exceptions huh?

Best Answer

I'm afraid not!!!

Best Answer

I'm not going to say always, just because there may be an outlying situation I'm not considering, but I'd say about 99.9% of the time it is.

Best Answer

What if he's the ONLY really fun guy I've dated?

Best Answer

I would think the bad would tend to outweight any fun you might have. If not yet, then eventually.

Best Answer

Yes. As he sinks deeper and deeper into his rut of drugs and alcohol, he'll drag you down in there with him. My wife learned that lesson from her first husband.

Best Answer

Even if you are not an alcoholic yourself?

Best Answer

Even if you're not an alcoholic or drug user yourself. I grew up around alcoholism. Had I not left the area I grew up in, I likely would have been one myself. I've learned from that experience as much as I've learned from my wife's experiences. Both my wife and I have found that alcoholics can be great charmers. Though you may not be involved in the substance abuse, how you will get dragged down will be through you getting angry at his frequent substance abuse. You'll get dragged down by covering for him and making excuses for him. You'll get dragged down by forsaking friends and family just so you can cover for him being too drunk or stoned to be around decent people. You'll be dragged down by your desire to live a safe, comfortable life while he chooses to risk his life and maybe yours through his substance abuse. You'll be dragged down by your constantly worrying about his safety and well being. These are just a few examples.

Best Answer

Thank you for helping me save myself

Best Answer

I wish you the best of luck in getting through this.

Best Answer
1 More Response

I think this depends on if YOU are an alcoholic who drinks every day and is addicted to drugs.

Best Answer

I'm not

Best Answer

Yes. For the same reason you don't go swimming with an anchor.

Best Answer

Yes. If you want to save him, that is fine. But you do not have to be attached to the guy as wife or girlfriend to do that.

Best Answer

yes,because I used to be one, and I was an ******* to people without realizing it,was bitter and cold and mean,very- when drinking hard liquor and taking pills would blackout and do bad things without realizing it,could of hurt someone I loved

Best Answer

Sometimes you need to do what's best for you to be honest. No one knows your situation play by play. Although, MAYBE the best thing in this situation WASN'T for you to leave. Maybe the best thing you could do was just be there and try to get him off of this down spiraling path. It really comes down to the situation. I give you this point of you because when it comes to guys I am always trying to look for the what ifs. At the same time you can not continue to live your life if he is such a bring down. If you looking to someone for support, then yes, it was the right thing to do. If you are wonderful on your own and you have the strength to support someone else, then think about what I said.

Best Answer

If you consider alcoholism to mean they drink every day two or three beer, but never really get drunk and occasionally smoke pot, then you may have jumped the gun. If they are drinking themselves to oblivion and using drugs as well that might be a good decision to break up with them. When you act as their source of comfort you are kind of keeping them from hitting rock bottom and dare I say enabling their behavior. If they enter treatment/AA the first thing they will be told is to stay out of relationships for the next year. So, it really could be in their best interest to end the relationship. <br />
<br />
I don't think anyone can know whether something is 100% right 100% of the time, because life isn't black and white and there are large grey areas that exist. Do what you think is right, but make sure you think about your decision and the possible outcomes first :) If you stay, could you risk loosing the respect of your friends, family or yourself? That wouldn't be worth it to stay. Just do what you feel is right, and maybe ask a few friends and perhaps even your partner.<br />
<br />
Good luck with that difficult situation. I wish you the best!

Best Answer

I'm talking get wasted every day. Pot every day, starting at 6 or 7 pm up until late at night.

Best Answer

Do you find that behavior acceptable? Or are those deal breakers for you?

Best Answer

Sounds like a problem, and they need help. The situation is like a weed when you're trying to plant flowers. They will steal all the nutrients...

Best Answer

as a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, i'd say yes. remain a supportive friend, but he'll never be a good boyfriend until he gets his own issues worked out.

Best Answer

Thank you so freaking much, I appreciate it coming from someone with the same problem. *hug*

Best Answer

have you discussed w/him why he does this? is he lying to himself about having a problem that's too hard to face? I mean, is he drinking/drugging to escape something? does it run in his family? you dont mind that he does this? or has it never really affected you because he lives far away? if its not affecting you now- it will & he wont be able to invest anything in the relationship because he's rarely "there"

Best Answer

He knows he's sick. He's not changing, ever, he has said that.

Best Answer

then yeah, I would leave him now......you're just setting yourself up for a major catastrophe if you stay-- is he asking you to stay? give him the ultimatum that you'll stay if he quits.....dont trust him if he gives you the old "i'll try" line

Best Answer

What if he's just going through a slump and he's a good guy?

Best Answer

He's been in that slump for 13 years now

Best Answer

hmmm well that changes things, but hey, I'm only a month sober but I just go through, went through, short slumps. My mind says if he can't get it together by now, and has tried getting help, then he needs to go his own way to keep from hurting you and whatever your family unit might be any further. My heart says don't cut him loose, at least too far, because it sucks.

Best Answer

Yes...he's on a road to hell..you won't /can't change him.

Best Answer

Related Questions