Is it something like Stockholm Syndrome? I am unfamiliar with these sorts of relationships.
I believe you are setting yourself up for a world of SERIOUS hurt if you let your emotions get involved.You must know that even if you have known this person for a long time that this is only a fantasy you are playing out.It would be like if you were an actor playing a role in a movie,you are not going to be in that character 24/7 or it would cause mental disruption in your real life.If you find it hard to keep your emotions at check,I would recommend either finding another or many others to keep you from getting attached or stopping the game all together!!!You can;t have your cake and eat it too(old saying)!!!I hope this helps,Take good care!!!
Hmmm maybe think that your in love with what they do rather than the person behind it