Sometimes I pray (and I don't believe in god or any other higher power) that I get cancer.. likea a really bad stage in cancer and die. And sometimes I pray that I get really really sick like a pneumonia or something and lose like a LOT of weight just so I can look terrible and feel terrible.. idk... I feel like I deserve those things sometimes, but I know that's selfish of me bc the people with these problems only want for that stuff to go away... fukk my life. I don't really care
Why do you think you deserve these things? Your life is just beginning, there is time for you to redeem yourself, become a better person instead of hoping for cancer.
why would you want that