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My boyfriend left me, he will still see the child but only for a few hours a week... i am scared
AnKol94 AnKol94 18-21, F 10 Answers May 10 in Parenting & Family

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Aaawww! Don't be scared. It is a big job to be a young mother - I was your same age when I had my first, and the father DID leave me (good-he was abusive). The trick is this: do as many things that 'go-along' with your baby's life as you can. Sleep when she sleeps (?), eat when she eats, get your errands done while she is awake and playful. Use caution with sitters!!! ALWAYS do background checks on them, and ask for references. LOOK at the place your child will be kept: is it dirty? Disorganized? Are there too many children? Does the sitter appear well-groomed, sober, likable? NEVER leave your child with someone that makes your gut tell you NO. If you must pay more for a good sitter, then do so. Get a job, and a car that runs. Rent out a cheap or subsidized apt. You can do one bedroom for now, and share it with the baby. Inbox me if I can help you any more.

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wow this is very helpful thank you, i am pregnant at the moment and my bf is very abusive and takes drugs, he only started doing it recently, we were in a long perfect relationship before it tho, last saturday he rang me and said he's done with me, he now for a week lives in a house with 3 other women which makes me paranoid that he is cheating on me, and all of my clothes are in his house he havent seen me for a week or rang me really, and refuses to give the key so i can collect my stuff, he says we'll live together after the baby is born but i dont think i will be able to forgive him for leaving me now and i think he will still keep being abusive :/

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This man is TOXIC, and should have no part in your life. I don't know if this is possible, but if you can, go to the courthouse and get full, temporary (until a court date) custody of your baby. Get a restraining order at the same time, so that he is not allowed near you or your baby (make sure the order reflects you AND the baby). As far as custody goes, literally the parent who has the child can get temporary custody. Do this BEFORE he has a chance. Then, when all is said and done, and you have a moment to breathe easy, put the baby in a stroller and take her for a walk on a nice day, and just relax with her. :)

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of course its not bad, it is brave, shows strength, and is commendable. Yes, the fantasy is the wonderful happy family of mummy, daddy and baby, but lets be honest, that is not really the case most of the time these days, and if the mummy or daddy is a loser, a cheat, or a irresponsible child themselves, then the dynamic is better off without them!<br />
You will be fine, just don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help and support.<br />
I pretty much brought my kids up alone for about half the time, and if I can do it anyone can ;)

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Thank you so much! your answer gave me a motivation and a sense of hope, thank you ^_^

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Well just because you and the father aren't together doesn't make you a single mum, it just makes you single. As long as he is taking responsibility, you are not a single mother.

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Its not bad ..is just not easy

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It's not bad, but it is not good either. Sorry to hear that.

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My wife raised 4 kids by herself,( didn't know me yet ),... You can do it

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most friends i had, had single parents, me included. it's not as bigger deal as some might think

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No. Single parents can still be great parents.

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