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So hubby and I weren't too good for a while... He came to EP for companionship, and fell for someone else (if only online, but she was 16 to boot).... He and I are once again 'good', in love with each other all over again... But, got reminded about anniversaries the other day, and remembered that we spent our last (9 years married) with him in love with someone else :( Sure, I have him back, he's not remotely 'looked' for her for a long time, but she still gets into my head space from time to time... Will she ever leave me?
3littlegirls 3littlegirls 31-35, F 6 Answers Jun 12 in Dating & Relationships

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if it were her he has been with for 9 years hed be thinking about you or someone else, thats just the way it is

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Some guys like to say that women "over-think" things because they're dumb and "under-think" them. -smh-

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Likely not, at least not completely. Humans have the tendency to remember negative things with higher intensity than positive things.<br />
The negative feelings should, however, become less intense over time as long as you focus on the positive aspects of that situation.<br />
The positive aspect of that situation was that your husband ultimately chose you. He chose you before her, and he chose you after her. Have confidence and take comfort in that fact.<br />
Perhaps communicate to him these feelings in a calm, non-confrontational manner, keeping your word choices from being accusatory. He may very well rise to the occasion if you express a need for extra support or extra ex<x>pressions of relationship security.

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Thanks. Hadn't thought of it that way.
Suppose the memory that I was a choice at all is what bites. That and the thought that he (or anyone for that matter) could love another so freely and then let them go without a backwards glance just as easily...
But your thinking makes senses to me. Appreciated.

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Nope. Welcome to the hell we "thinkers" were born in.

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so...nope, the image of her will never leave? :(

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Eyup. Welcome to one of the many reasons NOT to ever get into a relationship.

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.... I'd rather be alone

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kids complicates that somewhat

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Who is this 16 yr old eper

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Billy Madison

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She seems to have disappeared from EP. Burnt too many bridges and ran out of married men to chase and play games with... If she comes back she'll be the one asking Q's like "can I call you Daddy" and "can I sit on it"...

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Jealousy… Yucky. Who invented the notion that we should be jealous or monogamous or that we can't wander the earth in a state of bliss without upsetting people?

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