Is it better to leave certain friends that drain you and how do you do that without hurting them too much?

Slowly start ignoring their calls, they will go away.

I think everyone who has commented here so far has some great points. For people like this, whatever you give them is NEVER enough. These "energy vampires" will just keep taking and taking until YOU'RE the one who is sick. They are just using you; true friends would NEVER do this to you. Draw the line. Stop being so available and allowing them to guilt trip you. Tell them politely that you're busy and will spend time with them when you can. Once you do, I practically guarantee you'll find their "friendship" was nothing more than an excuse to drain you and they'll move on to their next victim.

What you are doing for your friends is certainly admirable but you have to take care of yourself too so you will have something left to give to others. You don't have to say it in their face but little by little show signs that you value your personal time too and they have to respect and accept that. You have to resist giving in during situations when they make you feel guilty and make sure that you set your foot down each time they attempt to manipulate you. It will also be a struggle for you, I know but you just have to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself and for them as well. Remember that you cannot give what you don't have. Best of luck to you.

They are sucking the life out of you! You are right to want to move on. Next time one of them accuses you of being too busy, or tries to guilt you into engaging with them, provide them with a list of therapists and suggest they call one. If the only way they know how to treat a devoted friend is to manipulate them for sympathy, then I think they need a major wake-up call to that effect.

i understand, my best friend of 5 years is now 8 months prego w a pillheads baby and living in a terrible place feeling sorry for herself. i might would feel sorry for her but she put herself in that place and is now dealing with the consequences. we have nothing in common anymore and she only wants to sit on the phone and complain about her life. i cant relate at all, thank god, and i try to listen but it gets old. i think the best thing you can do for your friends is not always pick up the phone but pick it up when you are in kind of a hurry so they wont keep you long and just be very happy, upbeat and encouraging as possible for the short time that you talk to them. that way they feel that they still have a friend and you are still being there for someone who obviously needs someone else to talk to. just remember that if the conversations get to heavy or deep then dont give advice just tell them in a nice way that you are worried about them and that their problems are too far over your head to give any further advice and you think they need some someone with the right qualifications (a therapist) to sort thru their issues with.

I can totally relate. I've been around people like that, giving too much of myself in the beginning and then they latch on and continue to take and take. They rarely gave back if at all and they got away pretty fast when it was time to help me through hard times sometimes even seeming to resent me for being human.

It is hard to leave them without hurting them but you are probably going to have to do just that. Unfortunately, I've never known how to do that.

Just remember that it's better for yourself and maybe even for them in the long run.